CHRIS CODUTO/Arizona Daily Wildcat Eating disorders such as bulimia can wreck lives and can even cause death in some cases. National Eating Disorder Awareness Week is Sunday through March 5.

Editor's note: The name has been changed to protect the person's identity

Obsessively counting calories, eating as little as possible, spending hours a day exercising, popping pills and throwing up all while going to school and trying to live an average life; this was Tara's reality.

"I remember walking into my friend's house wearing shorts and she started crying," Tara reminisced. "She was crying because I was so skinny, and as sick as it sounds, I was happy; not because she was crying, but because people thought I was that skinny."

Tara didn't always have this effect on her friends; this was the result of years of what she called "a sick eating disorder."

"I wasn't always like that," Tara said defensively. "It's not like you're born wanting to be skinny. It just kinda happens."

Wanting to be thin seems to be a common goal among many UA students, following the trends of the general public.

CHRIS CODUTO/Arizona Daily Wildcat Diet pills and appetite suppressants can be deadly. Ephedra was a popular diet pill that was made illegal by the Food and Drug Administ-ration because of the potential to cause serious health issues for users.

According to the National Eating Disorder Association, Americans spend more than $40 billion annually on dieting and diet-related products.

"Everywhere you look you see skinny people," said Melissa Colman, a communications junior. "Girls think guys want them to look that way."

Gale Welter, a nutrition counselor at Campus Health Service, said eating disorders are prevalent at the UA because of the warm weather, and bodies are perceived to be really important.

Welter said most of the students she sees do not have an eating disorder, but rather "disordered eating."

The "Eating Issues and Body Image Continuum" categorizes people according to the severity of their thought process.

Welter said most of her patients are in the middle of the continuum, which means they think about their weight and what they eat a lot during the day, and feel as if they would be more attractive if they were thinner.

Welter said about 40 to 50 percent her patients are seen for weight management issues.

In the beginning, Tara was in the same boat as most of those people.

When Tara was 17 years old, she stepped on her bathroom scale and as she watched the numbers race by, she imagined the numbers stopping, but they didn't.

The blur of black numbers became clear as the dial stopped at 195 pounds. She was 17, 5-foot-4 and 195 pounds. This was not a surprise to Tara, but it became a problem she wanted to fix.

Eating disorders begin with a preoccupation with food and weight, but there is usually something more than food that causes the disorder, according to NEDA.

"I started off healthy," Tara said.

Eating right and exercising occasionally was how she started to lose weight. She started the Slim-Fast diet, living off of the chocolate and strawberry flavored drinks and candy bars, and said she hoped it would speed up her weight loss.

But it was not working, at least not fast enough for Tara, and to top it off, she was starving.

Tara didn't want to give up, but the growling of her stomach was becoming too loud to ignore. She had to think of something to fix this new problem without derailing from her track to becoming skinny and therefore happy.

Tara turned to calorie-free pills that would give her the illusion she was not hungry without having to eat.

She started taking Dexatrim, advertised by its Web site as the market leader in over-the-counter appetite suppressants.

"It made me really jittery at first because of the caffeine in it," Tara said. "But it suppressed my appetite, and I was able to eat very little and feel full."

After a few months on Dexatrim, Tara started taking a stronger diet pill, Hydroxycut, which at the time contained Ephedra.

Ephedra, which was later prohibited by the Food and Drug Administration because of potential dangers to consumers, is what suppressed Tara's appetite. Eventually she started taking and abusing pure Ephedra.

"I was taking about 12 a day," Tara said. "The recommended dosage was only two twice a day."

On top of taking pills, Tara included exercise in her daily routine.

"I was working out like a freak," Tara said. "Like, two- to three-hour workouts at the gym every day and then I would go home and do Pilates. Sometimes I would even wake up in the middle of the night to do Pilates again."

Some people deal with stress by turning to alcohol, shopping or sex, while others use their eating disorder to cope, Welter said.

The story Tara tells is not a new one for Welter or Laura Orlich, a national certified counselor at Campus Health. Both have heard stories from students who are following the same path as Tara.

Orlich and Welter said they hope students with weight concerns come to Campus Health so they can adopt a healthy thought process about food and body image and stop their unhealthy ways before it becomes a more serious problem.

"We exist to help students help themselves," Welter said.

Tara did not get help from outside sources and her eating disorder got progressively worse.

Tara's mom found out about her use of Ephedra and told her to stop taking it.

But it was not that simple. Tara was addicted to Ephedra and could not just stop, so she hid it as if it were an illegal drug.

"I would buy the pills and empty them into a coin purse and throw the bottles in the dumpster outside," Tara said.

Even though the Ephedra helped suppress Tara's hunger, she still had cravings.

"I would buy the junk food and take a bite," Tara said. "And then I would ruin it by dumping Diet Coke on it or pouring too much sugar or salt on it so I couldn't eat any more of it. If I got a candy bar I would take a bite, chew it and then spit it out."

Tara's friends witnessed her actions and voiced their concerns and begged her to stop, but their cries fell on closed ears because Tara said she thought what she was doing was working.

"At my lowest I was 108 (pounds)," Tara said with a half smile.

Welter said the longer a person tries to deal with their eating disorder by themselves, the harder it is to recover.

Orlich said people who have eating disorders tend to be ashamed.

"The hardest part of any appointment is usually when the student has to tell their story," said Orlich.

Tara did not seek counseling because she did not think she had a problem. Tara said she felt the exact opposite because, in her mind, the problem had been fixed.

Then one day, Tara's crutch was ripped away.

"I walked into the store and asked the lady for a bottle of Ephedra," Tara said. "She looked at me like I was crazy and was like, 'Oh honey, we don't sell that anymore. Ephedra was made illegal two days ago.'"

Tara responded desperately.

"I asked the lady if they had any in back stock, and when she told me no I asked her if I could get it anywhere like in Mexico or something, Tara said. "I would do just about anything to get Ephedra. I needed it."

Tara went to Mexico to find the replacement drug, but it was not as strong as the Ephedra Tara had been taking, so it was of no use to her.

"I was eating Ephedra like Pez candy," Tara said. "And a lower dosage would have affected me like a piece of Pez."

She attempted to maintain her body weight on her own, but she was eating more and her metabolism was in disarray from the abuse she had put her body through; she started to gain weight.

"I was freaking out," Tara said. "I was counting calories like crazy, making sure to eat under 1,000 calories a day. I even kept a food journal and exercised. I still gained weight."

With the absence of Ephedra, Tara was unable to ignore her cravings and she began to binge eat, a severe, life-threatening disorder characterized by recurrent episodes of compulsive overeating, according to NEDA.

Tara said after binging, she would stop at a public bathroom, lean over the toilet, stick her finger down her throat and throw up, hoping to rid her body of the calories.

Tara leaped into the world of bulimia, another potentially life-threatening eating disorder characterized by a cycle of binging and compensatory behaviors, like self-induced vomiting, according to NEDA.

Tara continued to vomit up almost everything she ate for a little more than a month.

"Finally, I was like what am I doing?" Tara said. "It really grossed me out."

Tara was 20 years old and had lost the weight she wanted to lose, but with those pounds she surrendered many close friends and years of her life.

"My friend that started crying about how skinny I was just got married," Tara said. "And she didn't invite me."

Luckily for Tara, who just turned 21, a light switch turned on and she was able to accept her weight gain to a certain extent.

Her battle was long and hard and is continual, but with the support of friends and family and through her own inner strength, she has overcome her eating disorder.

"It helps that at my new job on campus I see girls who have blatant eating disorders," Tara said. "It makes me really sad, but it puts it in my face and helps me to realize that's not what I want for myself ever again. It was really gross."

Health providers felt the need to shed light on eating disorders by dedicating a week to inform the public during, "National Eating Disorder Awareness Week," from Sunday to March 3.

Today, Campus Health will host "Healthy Food and Body Day," with a table in front of Highland Commons, 1224 E. Lowell St., with information on how to eat healthy and keep your body fit.

There will also be information on recognizing, preventing and stopping eating disorders, Welter said.

The UA's National Alliance for the Mentally Ill sponsored Christine Peat, a psychology junior, and other students to have a table on the UA mall March 2. The table will have information on the prevalence of eating disorders, healthy eating, maintaining a good body image and ways to treat an eating disorder.

"I think there is a high rate of eating disorders on our campus," Peat said. "And I think it's best to get the information out there."