Jonathan Saul marketing junior Delta Sigma Pi, Gamma Psi chapter

Frat rat chats scat

Wildcat: So my name's Kris and you're on the spot. Like, how's it going? What's your name?

Saul: It goes good!

Wildcat: So what's your name?

Saul: John.

Wildcat: What are you studying?

Saul: Marketing.

Wildcat: What's your year?

Saul: Ehhhh, kind of a junior?

Wildcat: Yeah?

Saul: Sort of.

Wildcat: So, I got a question. All right, so like, cows eat grass, horses eat grass and rabbits eat grass. But like, cows, like, drop, like pies, rabbits drop, like, pellets and horses poop out these kind of like sausage things. Why is that?

Saul: You know why?

Wildcat: Why?

Saul: Because rabbits are closer to the ground.

Wildcat: I fail to see your logic here. So why do they give out pellets? Wouldn't it be, like, more economical for them to just to, uh, you know, not have to spend the energy to form the little pellets which are kind of compact, but to just like let them go right through?

Saul: Don't you see?! Don't you see?! Cows are higher up than rabbits, so it would be a pellet if it was closer to the ground, but since they're so high, by the time it hits the ground (punches fists together), it starts to spread out into a pie.

Wildcat: So it starts out like a pellet ...

Saul: Yeah, but then, they're you know, higher up. Rabbits, you know ...

Wildcat: So it's kind of like hail, but backwards.

Saul: Yeah, come on.

Wildcat: So any more thoughts on poop in general?

Saul: That's just about it, I guess.

Wildcat: Do you spend a lot of time thinking about it or thinking while you're doing it?

Saul: No, not much.