Chuck Norris

RANDOM REVIEW

"Guitar Hero," available only on Playstation 2, is the latest in the musical game-playing craze that's taking about 12 nerds by storm. With a plastic guitar controller that includes a whammy bar, and song covers of "Killer Queen" and "Ziggy Stardust," the game is more than worth the $70 price tag. Someday I'll get a real guitar, but this is good practice until that day comes.

GRIPE OF THE WEEK

I watched a bit of the Golden Globes this past Monday, and have a few questions.

1. Why do they keep putting dramedies into the comedy category? "The Squid and the Whale" isn't funny.

2. Why was Mariah Carey there?

3. Why didn't Jamie Foxx get more screen time?

4. Is "Desperate Housewives" still good?

5. Why didn't "Arrested Development" score any nominations?

6. What product was Johnny Depp using on his hair?

7. Are Zach Braff and Mandy Moore an item?

8. Will Jack Bauer make it this time around?

9. Isn't Harrison Ford too old to wear an earring?

10. I wish I knew how to quit you.

Jack Black

NEWSWORTHY

Surprisingly, wedding bells are ringing for Jack Black and Macauley Culkin. The two, who have never appeared in a film together, were seen looking for rings during the post-Christmas bargain days. No one yet knows when they will wed, or if there will be children in their future. There is, of course, no connection between the two weddings, as Black will marry girlfriend Tanya Haden and Culkin plans to wed actress Mila Kunis. I had you though, didn't I? No? Well, I wasn't even trying to get you, I'm just not a very clear writer.

SOUNDS

Check out the new Cat Power album on MySpace, modestly titled The Greatest. While you're on the MySpace, listen to the new single "Goin' Against Your Mind" from classic indie rockers Built To Spill. http://myspace.com/builttopsill and http://myspace.com/catpoower

IMAGES

Tired of watching crappy Internet videos on your computer? Well, now you can watch them in even worse quality on your television. VH1 is partnering with iFilm on "Web Junk 20," which shows the funny Internet videos we downloaded months ago. But hey, if you're short on computer space, check out the second episode tomorrow at 9:30 p.m. on VH1.

QUOTEWORTHY: "Scarlett is a bloody cunt." Lindsay Lohan's testament on a bathroom wall of New York City's DarkRoom, according to reports from Gawker.com.

WORDS

Thanks to my little brother, I have found that Conan O'Brien is not the only one making fun of Chuck Norris. "Chuck Norris Facts" include three pages of tidbits about the action star, including "Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice." I find it to be a little distasteful, however, since his co-star from "Sidekicks" Jonathon Brandis just killed himself. www.chucknorrisfacts.com