COURTESY ASYLUM STREET SPANKERS Asylum Street Spankers - They don't want to hit you on the butt, they want you to shake it to their old time/country/hip-hop music. $7. 9 p.m. Wednesday. Hotel Congress, 311 E. Congress St. 622-8848

Today

FREE - Opening Night Reception for Ryan M. "Caped Crusader" Parker's show "Smiles and Cupcakes." Get starstruck and check out Parker's portraits of current "corporate celebrities." Rupert Murdoch is soooo cute! 5 p.m. Kachina Lounge, Student Union Memorial Center. 628-7493

FREE - UA School of Music and Dance presents the Symphonic Band and Wind Symphony. Get your flute on! Crowder Hall 7:30 p.m. 621-1162

"The Pirates of Penzance" - Not the Disneyland ride. The Arizona Theatre Company gets all swashbuckler on you in this Gilbert and Sullivan musical. Temple of Music and Art. 330 S. Scott Ave. 622-2823. $31-$48

Friday

FREE - UofA Bookstore's Musical Moments at Lunchtime present holiday caroling. Noon. Student Union Memorial Center bookstore. Noon. 621-2426

FREE - Vocal Jazz Holiday Concert presented by the UA School of Music and Dance. 7 p.m. Holsclaw Hall. 621-2998

FREE - The International Arts Society Film Series Presents Buster Keaton's " The Navigator," and Fatty Arbuckle's "The Cook." 7:30 p.m. Manuel T. Pacheco Integrated Learning Center Room 120. 621-3527

Pinback - Dark and warm at the same time: a musical vagina. Hotel Congress. 311 E. Congress St. 622-8848. $9. 9 p.m. With Album Leaf and The Advantage. 21+

Saturday

Santa Claws - Make a dinosaur holiday craft or pose for a picture with a 13-foot T-rex Santa! $5. 1202 N. Main Ave. 792-2884. 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Everclear - Junkie-rock gone adult contemporary. With Avion and Michael Tolcher. $26. City Limits. 6300 E. Tanque Verde Road. 5 p.m. 733-6262

Chris Issak - Isaak will perform "Wicked Game" over and over and over again. Casino Del Sol AVA, 5605 W. Valencia Road. 5 p.m.

Tesoro - Flamenco gypsy group performs with tapas and sangria drink specials. 6:30 p.m. Hotel Congress, 311 E. Congress St. 622-8848

Tucson Drag Kings - Beards and moustaches = fun. Hotel Congress, 311 E. Congress St. $6. 622-8848. 21+

"Carousel" - Matinee performance of the Rodger's and Hammerstein classic. Marroney Theatre. 1:30 p.m. $29/$27/$21. 621-1162

FREE - UA School of Music and Dance presents "Percussion Extravaganza" with the Arizona Percussion Ensemble. 621-2998. 7:30 p.m.

FREE - Five Play Brass - Brass band plays Tucson Mall at noon and Magpie's Pizza (405 N. Fourth Ave.) at 4 p.m. Fiveplaybrass.com.

Gridlokt CD release party - local band joined by Revolt, Svat and Hollowed Highrise to celebrate CD release. 7 p.m. $10. The Rock (136 N. Park Ave.)

Sunday

Miracle of Hanukkah Celebration - Celebrate good times, l'chaim! Tucson Children's Museum. 200 S. Sixth Ave. 792-9985. $5.50, $3.50 ages 2- 16, $4.50 seniors.

Poetry Reading - The Lamplight Reading Series includes a reading by a featured author and open mic afterward. The Lamplight Reading Series. Reader's Oasis. 3400 E. Speedway Blvd. 4 p.m - 6 p.m. 319-7887

UApresents: Everyone's fave cellist Yo Yo Ma and pianist Emanuel Ax. Centennial Hall. 621-3341. $10-$77. Call for show time

Monday

Weekly Writing Workshop: "Preparing for and Writing the Final Exam." 5 p.m. Modern Languages building, Room 410. 5 p.m. 621-5849

FREE - "To Kill a Witch. " Dr. J. Andrew Darling will lecture on possible connections between local archaeological evidence of violence and witch executions. Old Pueblo Archaeological Center, 5100 W. Ina Road, building 7. 7:30 p.m. Reservations required

Tuesday

FREE Film - Africana Studies Film Fall Series presents "Stormy Weather." 621-5665. César E. Chávez building, Room 400

Rockin' Hanukkah Kick Off! - Light the first candle on your menorah, then rock out. Featuring Chicago band Ill Lit and local bands Lagoon and Bombs for the Bored. $3. 9 p.m.

WEDNESDAY

FREE - Opening Reception for the UA School of Art and Photography senior exhibition. 20 students will display work from their senior portfolios. 5 p.m.- 7 p.m. 621-8983. Centennial Hall