Buchik: "Let's Get It Started" by The Black Eyed Peas

The real title of this song is "Let's Get Retarded." I feel like the message gets lost (start what?) in the radio edit version, but the original is my party anthem.

Sussman: "Yeah!" by Usher

I'll be honest; I wouldn't care about this song if it weren't for Ludacris. From the moment Lil' Jon crunks "Luda!" until the circular coda, pop and hip-hop sound like they shared a womb.

Dawson: American Idiot by Green Day

With all due respect to the late great Ray Charles, I sure would like to see Green Day take home this award. I mean, they got off their punk asses to actually write about something substantial.

Thompson: "Yeah!" Usher Featuring Lil Jon and Ludacris

I love that one song on this album that's all Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Buchik: American Idiot by Green Day

The only white artist among the bunch nominated, it's clear who I have to choose. If "Birth of the Nation" taught me anything, it's that white people art is superior.

Sussman: The College Dropout by Kanye West

Even without his jaw wired shut, West's flow sounds a bit garbled. But his wit, genius for rhyming social commentary with disposable pop culture reference points, and flawless production skills more than make up for it.

Dawson: Confessions by Usher

Okay, Green Day are the only white guys in this category, but I give this one to Usher only because he's a lot hotter than Billie Joe. And those other two guys in the band.

Thompson: Confessions, Usher

This album is full of amazing confessions. Things about Usher I thought I'd never find out. Did you know one time Usher pooped his pants on the bus in second grade and then threw his underwear out the window?

Buchik: Good News for People Who Like Bad News by Modest Mouse

I hate the Grammys, but this year I actually found an artist I respect among the nominees, several in this category. It's a shame Björk didn't go up against Usher. She would have got my vote.

Sussman: Good News for People Who Love Bad News by Modest Mouse

Modest Mouse has always hovered between pretty good and amazing, and this album doesn't do anything wildly different. The same frayed delivery and warble-y guitars permeate the record. Maybe it sounds better coming through my radio than my CD player.

Dawson: Medulla by Björk

I particularly hate this category this year because ALL the nominees deserve to win. However, even though her music is technically NOT "alternative," I'm partial to Ms. Gudmundsdottir, because she's the only one to feature simulated orgasms on her album.

Thompson: PJ Harvey. Uh Huh Her

Oh, Peej. Even though Franz Ferdinand will probably win, this is a lovely album and P.J. Harvey is tres tres awesome. No offense, Bjork.

Buchik: "Feelin' Way Too Damn Good" by Nickelback

Yes, I am being sarcastic. Only because, should Nickelback win this award, people will remember that Grammys don't mean anything, and the People's Choice Awards make better picks.

Sussman: "Mrs. O'Leary's Cow" by Brian Wilson

With this year's Smile, Brian Wilson gave us the masterpiece we've been waiting for since before we even knew it existed. And this is how the Grammys repays him: best rock instrumental? Up yours, Grammys.

Dawson: Redneck Woman by Gretchen Wilson

"Hell yeah!" I went there and picked a country music category. This song is more than an anthem to the redneck women of America...wait, no it isn't. But, c'mon, it's still fun to sing at parties!

Thompson: Best Barftastic Rock Band to Use an Apostrophe to Abbreviate a Word in a Song Title

Nickleback, "Feelin' Way Too Damn Good."