Baseball poetry

Wildcat File Photo Arizona Daily Wildcat Jensen Karp

Now I understand it's hard to top 1998
I know it was divine
But make way baseball fans
For the last season of the millennium
It's 1999

Steinbrenner proved it's all about the benjamins
But we knew that, of course
"Forget about loyalty, use 10-10-345 to call Clemens and send David Wells up north"
Kevin Brown gets $105 million
Where has the salary cap gone?
That's enough cash to bribe Olympic officials and even bring the games to Tucson

But give those Diamondbacks some credit
Signing pitchers for a new look
Getting Randy Johnson
The only player more white trash than the Padres' Garth Brooks

Longball leader Sammy Sosa attempts another record-breaking crack
But for real courage watch the National League Brewer's Jim Abbott
'Cause this year he has to bat
And "Sultan of the Swat" Mark McGwire may once again define the home run
So let's hope during the off-season he stayed in better shape than his fat son

Moises Alou, Galarraga and Palmeiro are already sore
And now Albert Belle will have his barroom brawls in Baltimore
Best friends Darryl Strawberry and Eric Davis recovering from cancer and playing tough
Hey buddy, watch where you walk
You may step on Kerry Wood's rotator cuff

Transactions sent Mo to Anaheim
Orel to the Mets and Canseco straight to heaven
You see, he signed with Tampa Bay
Home of his ex-wife...Miss Florida 1987
Downsizing and fire-sales have put "no-names" in every team's batter box
I bet Frank Thomas would rather be in the Backstreet Boys than on the Chicago White Sox

I can't wait to see this season
Even if those Yankees repeat without a fight
But as soon as the call of the first pitch
I'll be as joyful as Roberto Benigni on Oscar night

Until then I count down the days till baseball, the sport of perfection
Until then keep your eye on the ball and wear a cup for your protection.

Jensen Karp is a sophomore majoring in media arts and is hoping Todd Hundley's elbow and Gary Sheffield's attitude hold up for the Dodgers to have a shot this season. He can be reached at Jensen.Karp@wildcat.arizona.edu