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Mike, your 15 minutes are up

You know the song and dance routine is over when the fat lady sings. When the last buzzer sounds in McKale, we know the last basket has sunk. It's strike three, and the batter's out.

And so I would think that multiple suspensions from your sport, two jail times and a bitter taste of ear wax in your mouth would signal to you, Mike Tyson, that it's about that time - to throw in the towel.

Tyson found himself surrounded once again by the familiar scenery of men in uniform at a London police station last week. This time, however, it wasn't for his own behavior, but for that of his "fans."

Upon arriving in London, where Tyson is scheduled to train and fight this weekend against Julius Francis, he attempted to walk the Brixton streets following in the footsteps of his hero Muhammad Ali.

But his walk down the aisle was not hailed with palm branches and praise like Ali's - it was quite the opposite, as he was mobbed by angry residents.

Tyson, who fled America because he claimed that it wasn't too long ago when people like him were slaves here, apparently isn't welcome in his London-home either.

Tyson also said our country is different from England in that we are not "sophisticated enough to deal with the sensitivity of human life."

Guess I missed the lesson in Human Ethics 101 where we learned that beating your significant other and sexually forcing yourself unwillingly upon someone is okay.

And I guess this human "sensitivity" act would also allow people to drive recklessly, and better yet, beat up those whom they hit with their cars.

Oh, and running off your mouth to the point of emotionally incriminating someone is "sophisticated" as well.

Gee, thanks for the lesson on sophistication, Mike, because now that I know you're setting the standards for our nation, I feel really safe walking around our streets - as long as I have my ear muffs on and chastity belt fastened.

So Tyson, with negative outcries from the United States, London and the boxing federation itself under your belt, are you sensing a pattern?

Like maybe you're done?

Maybe with the year 2000 embarking, moon expeditions will become more regular and you can begin your modeled "sophisticated" life there, but for now, lend me your attached ear and hear me when I say your 15 minutes are up.

Yes, I feel strongly that you have no position in the boxing world anymore, because, despite your skill, your character has defaced the sport.

And yes, I am angry that you still will be fighting.

But to set the record straight, contrary to what you may believe, this does not make me a "frustrated woman who wants to be a man."

Kate Longworth is a junior majoring in journalism. She can be reached at Kate.Longworth@wildcat.arizona.edu.