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Killing frogs in an Internet blender


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Arizona Daily Wildcat

By Shaun Clayton
Arizona Daily Wildcat,
January 1, 2000
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The urge to put a gerbil in a microwave or puree a frog in a blender can now be satisfied on a Web site - www.joecartoon.com.

The Web site is the home of the Joe Cartoon Company, run by Joe Shields.

Shields utilizes the power of Macromedia Flash, a Macintosh G3 and supposedly a team from NASA to manufacture and maintain the twisted animation that resides on his Web space.

"Lump, the No-Legged Dog," "Joe's Drinkin' Buddies" and the before-mentioned "Frog in a Blender" are just a few of the cartoons that can be found on the site.

The best thing about the animation sequences is that almost all of them are interactive.

For instance, with "Frog in a Blender," there are buttons labeled from one to 10 on an animated appliance. Level one sends the cartoon frog in the blender on a gentle spin. Ten makes frog mulch.

The "Hamster in a Microwave" operates on a similar principle. Like the frog, the hamster will taunt the user with "You ain't got the balls," in a thick southern drawl. The animal will then recant as it approaches death - a sadist's dream.

In fact, the site's general theme is the horrific destruction of both animals and people.

For example, Shields has a collection of animation dubbed the "Red Dot Series." In these, the "red dot" is a laser targeting sight. When it lands on a cat, a weight-lifter or anything on the screen - it's instant death.

Sheilds claims that the inspiration for his animation is "light beer" and that Miller should be his corporate sponsor.

This site is not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach. The gore content is high, and obscenities are frequent - for the rest, JoeCartoon.com is an entertaining way to spend time on the Internet.

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