By
Ryan Finley
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Editor's note: Ryan Finley has the attention span of a four-year-old with ADD. Because he can't sit still for more than five minutes, he writes a few "observations" every week. Idiot.
The UA volleyball team is ranked No. 10 in the nation. The Wildcats football squad returns one of the best players in the Pacific 10 Conference - Ortege Jenkins. The Icecats are the likely favorite to win the American Collegiate Hockey Association. The women's soccer team is trying to dig its program from the ashes.
Can you feel the excitement? Me neither.
You see, UA fans only care about one thing - winning.
If you can't win, you're not worth rooting for. Period.
I'm guilty of doing it, too. I mean, would you rather watch a loser or a winner? But the lack of fan support that some teams on this campus get is pretty ridiculous.
We've got to realize that not every Wildcats team can be the basketball team.
What head coach Lute Olson has done with the UA basketball program - a state school in the middle of nowhere - is considered a miracle by, well, just about everybody.
He probably goes to recruits' houses, turns water into wine, and gets the country's top prep stars to sign on the dotted line. Don't ask me how he does it.
The basketball games are fun, but go to a volleyball game. Go to a football game. Better yet, get loaded and go to an Icecats game - everybody else does.
...The NFL season starts this weekend, and some of America's favorite convicts will see how their offseason "training" program - robbing, hitting women, and (in some cases) killing people - pays off once they hit the field.
Bengals' running back Cory Dillon, recently accused of punching - punching! - his wife, is in elite company in Cincinnati.
Rookie wide receiver Peter Warrick was accused of larceny while at Florida State and offensive lineman Matt O'Dwyer has been suspended for the first game for starting a fight outside of a bar.
You'd think that a team that hits so hard could actually win a game once in a while.
...Leaving a football practice last week, I noticed that the UA Marching Band, affectionately called "the Pride of Arizona", was practicing as well.
They probably had a hellish week, too.
Imagine twice-a-day band practices: tuba players puking from dehydration, formation practices until band members fall down, and, of course, brutal hazing with woodwinds.
...Am I the only one who thinks Joe Arizona, the computer-generated football mascot, should replace Wilbur the Wildcat for good?
Joe, a beige-colored, lightning-throwing, trash-talking mascot, has more than a few advantages over the antiquated Wildcat.
1) Name. Joe represents the common man. I think the last child to be named Wilbur was born in, like, 1920.
2) Marital status. Joe is apparently single, not bogged down with a female counterpart like Wilma.
Listen to me, Wilbur - I heard some frat guys talking about your "wife" and I hope the rumors aren't true. Joe Arizona probably has a different girl every night of the week. Stud.
3) Talents. Joe gathers lightning from the sky, forms it into a ball, and throws it into Arizona Stadium. Wilbur does push-ups. That's like, sooooo 1950s.
