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Ask Abby!

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Abby Tankenoff
Wildcat Advice columnist
By Abby Tankenoff
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Wednesday April 23, 2003

Sorority house life poses problems for UA student

Hey Abby,

I decided to write because I have no one who can help me with this problem. I am in a sorority and plan to live in my sorority house next fall. That's the good part. My best friend who was supposed to share a room with me has just backed out, and now I have to share a room with a girl I cannot stand. I know we are all supposed to be sisters, but how can I live with someone I don't like? I really want to live in the house, and there are no other girls I can share a room with. What am I going to do now?

Dear Sorority Sister,

Actually, you are at an advantage. Living with someone you don't know, or don't even like for that matter, simplifies your relationship into just being roommates. This is much simpler than living with your best friend, who you would have expectations of as both a friend and a roommate¸ which is a surefire formula for a catfight.

You are now faced with two options. One, you can let your personal feelings dictate your actions, which will most likely result in drawing a line down the middle of the room with duct tape and erasing her phone messages. Or two, you can put personal feelings aside and try to maintain a polite and civil living situation. Although option one is a lot more fun, I suggest you go with two. That way you can live in your sorority house without worrying that your angry roommate will desecrate your stuff.

The most important factor in any living situation is to lay down some ground rules at the beginning so there is no gray area that could lead to misunderstandings and future fights. I learned this the hard way; freshman year, I came home to a guy in my bed with nothing on but a ski hat. My roommate said she didn't know that I had a problem with strangers sleeping in my bed. Thus, I emphasize the importance of laying down the ground rules upfront. So don't label her Cruella DeVille just yet. Give her a chance. No one says you have to be soul mates, just roommates.


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