Arizona Daily Wildcat
August 22, 2005
Alan Eder - Eder is a political science and Spanish senior. He would have graduated sooner, but he spent too much time playing racquetball at the Student Recreation Center in lieu of taking more classes. Five feet 5 inches tall and weighing 130 pounds with brown hair and brown eyes, Alan is every woman's fantasy. He spent the past summer growing the world's ugliest beard and gallivanting about Mexico. His future career plans involve attending law school and thereafter suing the world's largest drug company, thus securing a decent nest egg for his retirement. His columns will appear on Wednesdays.
Lori Foley - Foley is a senior majoring in English and French. She is fresh off a semester in France, where she developed serious addictions to Nutella, cheese and blood orange juice. She is especially concerned with Arizona's foster care system and role as a border state. She also loves to "bear down," and will play you the fight song on her green plastic recorder, even if you ask her to please stop. Lori believes in symmetry. Her columns will appear on Thursdays.
Michael Huston - Huston is a political science and philosophy sophomore from Tucson whose goal in life is to rule the world. (OK, maybe just to help lead his country.) He identifies himself as very political and is the co-host of the political talk radio show "Look Both Ways" on KAMP Student Radio, which airs every Friday afternoon. His most exciting experience in 2004 was meeting President Bush, and he looks forward to the opportunity to annoy you or make you cheer on a weekly basis. Either way he hopes you will e-mail him your thoughts and reactions. His columns will appear on Tuesdays.
Ryan Johnson - Johnson is an international studies and economics senior. He lives so close to campus that he can get to his classes in the basement of Eller faster than his professors on the fourth floor. He will repeatedly take advantage of this fact to wake up three minutes before class starts. He returns as a third-time columnist after serving as opinions editor last spring. Johnson has worked at the Wildcat since his freshman year, including a stint as a news reporter. A member of the Pi Kappa Phi fraternity, his interests include sports, poker and real estate. His columns will appear on Tuesdays.
Kara Karlson - Karlson is a journalism senior. She believes that the only thing wrong with life is that you only get one lifetime, so she is trying to fit as many lifetimes as possible into 75 to 80 years. She is involved with many organizations on campus, such as the Arizona College Republicans and the Credit Wise Cats. She is piloting a collaborative project between the Credit Wise Cats and the International Rescue Committee to create a yearlong hands-on financial mentorship program for refugee families newly relocated to the United States. Her columns will appear on Tuesdays.
Allisyn Keyser - Keyser is a creative writing and physiological sciences junior who spends a majority of her time sitting dumbfounded in organic chemistry contemplating why on earth she is a science major. When she's not busy staring blankly at the boards in the Koffler building, she enjoys being an encyclopedia of useless movie trivia, listening to Green Day and being a couch potato. She also likes to play basketball and football, aspires to be a heart surgeon, and is a huge nerd who loves Harry Potter. Her columns will appear on Mondays.
Damien LeeNatali - LeeNatali is a political science and history junior from Denver, Colorado. Returning this semester as the opinions editor, he feels that the UA campus is more beautiful than ever now that the ungainly footwear known as Ugg boots seem to have been phased out of coeds' wardrobes. Mostly because he is mistaken for a high school freshman, he brags to anyone who will listen that he once shattered a bowling ball with the sheer force of his throw. He is disheartened that most people will never believe him.
Mike Morefield - And God said, "Let there be Mike," and there was Morefield, a political science senior. These humble beginnings have helped him become the dashing senior of political science that he is. A thorn in most sides and a loud, booming voice to all, Mike loves the UA community and wishes he could remember all the good times he's had here a little better. He can be found most Saturdays grilling a mammoth steak and articulating his opinions to anyone within earshot, including those who could not care less (which is the majority). A storyteller and renaissance man by heritage, he is ecstatic to write for the Wildcat, finally granting him a medium to validate his inane rants and raves. His columns will appear on Fridays.
Scott Patterson - Patterson is an international studies senior. Talking about oneself when space is limited implies conciseness. Yet being concise is meaningless when one doesn't know what information the reader will find useful. For instance, if you learn that Patterson is a UA senior studying international relations and a few foreign languages, will this change your opinion of him, or will you be nevertheless be offended when he argues something with which you categorically disagree? Patterson believes the latter. Thus, instead of explaining why he qualifies, he recommends you forget who the man is, and focus on what he says. That way, if you vehemently disagree, it won't be anything personal. His columns will appear on Mondays.
Katie Paulson - Paulson is an English and political science junior who begins each morning with an espresso-based beverage and a dose of The New York Times. While able to quote from "The Simpsons" and Shakespeare in the same breath, she most enjoys discussing social issues, ranging from improving education to the brilliance of Ikea. In actuality, she loves working with youth and does so through various organizations, including her prized Camp Wildcat. Her columns will appear on Tuesdays.
Ella Peterson - Peterson is a creative writing junior. Through past involvement with Residence Life and the Office of Orientation, she has had the pleasure of meeting the majority of both the previous and incoming freshman classes. When convenient, she claims vegetarianism as a clever cover to peculiar eating habits, and takes delight in forcing others to retreat to a dictionary to decode a deceptively simple phrase. Her biggest pet peeves include fanaticism (religious, political or otherwise), sectarianism (economic, racial or greek), and the passionately stated opinions of the uneducated. Her columns will appear on Fridays.
Dan Post - Post is an anthropology and ecology senior from Sarasota, Fla. In his fifth year, Dan brings invaluable "knowledge" and "experience" from being a career student to the Wildcat opinions staff. Look for Dan to roast anyone and anything that gets in his way during his final semester at the UA. That means you, so be nice if you don't want your balls chopped off in his next column. His columns will appear on Tuesdays.
David Schultz - Schultz is a political science and philosophy senior who grew up 120 miles south of Hell in Tucson. His mother was a rattlesnake and his father was a two-by-four. His diet mainly consists of vegetable fried rice and those frozen tacos you can get at the grocery store. He once saw a man eat his own head. He recently gained 200 pounds by mistakenly eating regular milkshakes instead of SlimFast milkshakes for four months. He very frequently steals jokes from "The Simpsons" and thinks no one notices. He was born under a bad sign and likes puppies. His columns will appear on Thursdays.
Matt Stone - Stone is an international studies and economics junior with a soft spot in his heart for theoretical physics, ridiculously large sunglasses and playing classical music really loud. He harbors dreams of owning an F1 racing team, schlepping around Kyrgyzstan with Pierce Brosnan, and toiling as a migrant worker in a Tuscan vineyard. In the meantime, he will spend this year traipsing across Siberia, seeking inner peace and lamenting the disappearance of the "Lute Lid." If he seems unapologetically out of touch with reality, well, that's probably because he is. His columns will appear on Wednesdays.