By Moe Naqvi
Illustration by Holly Randall
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Do you make other people feed you? Do you call SafeRide so you don't have to walk to class? Do you buy Depends so you can skip the arduous trek to the bathroom? If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, then you are lazy.
I will admit that I am also lazy to a certain extent. I sleep 14-16 hours a day on the weekends. I usually sit outside my residence hall and wait for someone else to open the door just so I won't have to get out my CatCard. However, since I have my own editorial column, I'm allowed to be hypocritical.
College students are getting more slothful as each day goes by, and I am here to encourage all people to become less lazy. Make that extra effort to throw your trash out of the window instead of just letting it lay in your bed. Make that extra gesture to flush the toilet after you've taken care of your dirty business. Stop abbreviating words in e-mails and instant messaging. Will it really hurt to write "and" instead of "n?" It is an extra two letters, bite the pain and type the "a" n the "d."
Why stop at throwing trash out of the window? Join a club – I hear Cowboys for Castrating Cows has many openings. There are over 300 clubs and organizations at the University of Arizona. Roll up those dirty sleeves, join one of them, and pad your résumé. Once you graduate from this "institution of higher learning," employers and admission boards are going to be looking over not only your grades, but also your level of involvement in your educational environment.
Enroll in the Archery Club for Anarchists. Sign up to join Republicans for Nader. There's a club for everyone, and if not, then an individual can make their own. I would start my own club called "Naqvi for President in 2024," but I think I should wait a couple years for people to get to know me.
Students who participate in extracurricular activities are more likely to attain real world skills and receive more attention from employers and graduate school admission boards. Yes, grades are good, but that is not going to set a lot of people apart.
I've come through 18 years of life and I've realized there are many, many smart people. I've met kids who can build real working rockets with nothing more than a bag of marshmallows and four paper clips. I've met kids who can figure out the density of planet Venus with a slice of cheese and a couple of batteries. The world is full of smart people, but what good is being smart if you don't have the proper skills to show it off?
Being smart will get an individual far, but not far enough to succeed. In addition to being smart, one must know how to interact with others and that's what joining a club brings.
Organizations such as Associated Students of the University of Arizona, Residence Hall Association, and Med Cats can help an individual become extroverted or improve upon interaction skills.
I'm not going to lie. Lazy people are bad people. They take up space and make things harder on others. They are the people who ruin the wave when it comes to them. They are the people who sleep in the middle of your room floor because the bunk bed is too high up. Stop being lazy. Stop being a horrible person. Get up and do something.
Laziness is a contagious disease that should be shunned by the majority of people. However, there is one exception to being lazy.
Yesterday my friend "Lauren" went to bed at 3 and woke up at 7. That is a total of 16 hours of sleep. Bats don't even sleep that long. Normally, this would be considered one of the ultimate acts of laziness, but she partakes in ASUA. Since she is active around the school, it is OK for her to be lazy. As long as the individual participates in one activity, some level of laziness is allowed without being labeled as a naughty person.
To the people who do something for this campus, I commend you. To everyone who does absolutely nothing, I hope you understand that you are a very bad, bad person.
Moe Naqvi is a physiological sciences freshman. He can be reached at email@example.com.