Listen up, ladies. There's a new book that tells you exactly how to live your lives, and it all boils down to one word: doormat.

A chick named Laura Doyle released the book on Jan. 8, and it has already sold over 100,000 copies. It's called "The Surrendered Wife: The practical guide to finding intimacy, passion and peace with a man."

I'm hoping the hundred thousand have been purchased for comic relief and dinner table joking. Second only to "Mein Kampf," Doyle's how-to manual is the scariest book ever written. And given the way the world works today, Doyle's "advice" is just a big joke.