It's strange how time goes faster as you age. There were days in high school that felt like they would never end, but as I approach the last week of academics at the University of Arizona, time seems to be going at warp speed. This is probably because I have three papers to write by tomorrow, but part of me wonders if I am really dreading graduation. After working non-stop for four years, how could I possibly dread graduation? To you freshman and sophomores reading this through the crusty eyes of late-semester sleeplessness, the concept seems ridiculous. But trust me, you all have a good thing going. Writing papers and cramming for exams is cake compared to getting a "real" job and figuring out what the hell to do with yourself.

At the beginning of college, getting a degree in history seemed like the perfect thing to do. What I had not considered is what I could do with a degree in history. There is no National History Association draft for me to join, and the only thing to do in my field is teach. As much as I love learning about the nuances of history now, will I enjoy teaching the same things over and again to a room of high-schoolers who cannot wait for the bell to ring? Somehow, that lifestyle seems limiting.

Since I will be a bona fide graduate of our fine university, I am going to have one of those permanent records that adults talk about with doom in their voices. No matter where I go, or what I do, my four years of college is going to follow me around, defining who I am to employers. It's not as if I have anything to be ashamed of, either, it's just that now I will be neatly categorized. When you're young, you can be anything, but as you age, you become something. I do not know if I can deal with the weight of something-ness.

It is not that I am opposed to real jobs or even to working at all. It is just that I am - and I am not ashamed to admit it - afraid of living an ordinary life and doing ordinary things. I want, as does everyone, to lead a life that will be of importance and service to others. I want to do it my way, in my time frame.