Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Robin Williams plays a freaked-out former children's television show host in "Death to Smoochy." The movie opens today.

One assumes the mere premise of Robin Williams playing an insane, alcoholic, bribe-taking, homeless, bent-on-revenge former children's-television-show star named Rainbow Randolph would be more than enough for an all-out laugh fest.

And in many cases, it would be. But unfortunately, "Death to Smoochy" is not one of those cases.

Directed by Danny Devito (who also co-stars) and written by former "Late Night With David Letterman" and "Larry Sanders Show" contributor Adam Resnick, the movie could be described as what would happen if the Simpsons' Krusty the Clown and Howdy-Doody were at odds with one another.

When Rainbow Randolph is busted for taking bribes from parents eager to get their child on his show, he loses everything and instantly becomes a business and social outcast. Desperate for a replacement for the fallen star's timeslot, the network president (Jon Stewart) scours the land in search of an ethically clean new face to host the kiddie program.

He finds that face in a methadone clinic-gigging, singing foam rhinoceros named Smoochy (Edward Norton). Smoochy soon becomes every child's new idol, and Rainbow Randolph vows revenge at any cost. Chaos (or an underachieving facsimile thereof) then ensues.

The problem with this movie is that it has so much star potential. With a cast of Williams, Norton, Devito, Jon Stewart and "Being John Malkovich"'s Catherine Keener, one would think this movie could lead to little disappointment. Think again.

The movie simply never gets off its feet. It keeps waiting to be funny, but never delivers. The problem is not with the acting - though Norton should stick to playing psychos - it's with the dialogue. The characters deliver stale, trite lines that could still be really funny if the filmmakers decided to take some serious chances at some point.

But, apparently, someone has decided to grow old - this movie takes as many risks as Dick Cheney at Disney World. The result is a boring, lame, skewed, cause-and-effect plot.

These circumstances are especially disheartening because Williams really acts like he wants this movie to be funny. He does a great job with what he's given; the problem is he just isn't given enough. Why write lines for this guy? The film would have been funnier if he had ad-libbed all his lines while wearing his Rainbow Randolph suit. He's a natural maniac, why not let him be a total and complete maniac?