Itās time for the annual look at the best that Tucson has to offer sports fans. The list isnāt exhaustive, but itās a good start. If you disagree with any of the selections, go somewhere else. But we can assure you that all the selections are perfect.

Best place to watch college football (walking distance): Dirtbagās

1800 E. Speedway Blvd.

Perhaps the most (in)famous bar in the local area also carries the ESPN GamePlan, which means they can pretty much tune into any game in the nation, from the WAC to the SWAC. But thereās no big screen, and the TVs are on the smallish side. Plus, if they get busy, you non-21-year-olds might get the boot. But the chow is great (the DirtBurger is a must for the UA experience) and you wonāt have to eat Ramen for the rest of the week after paying your tab. And you can walk there from any dorm on campus. Plus, Dirtbagās is also the best place in the area to play Golden Tee, offering three machines.

Best place to watch college football (driving distance): Old Chicago

2960 N. Campbell Ave.

When you become of age (or find more devious ways to drink at bars), the World Beer Tour needs to be first on your list of accomplishments, right after getting rid of that tattoo you got in Nogales. Until then, however, Old Chicago provides one of the best places in town to catch college football. They open at 9 a.m. on Saturdays, and serve up breakfast burritos that wonāt give you heartburn or Montezumaās revenge. If you can find a way to swing it, $2 Bloody Marys or Screwdrivers first thing in the morn are quite the · experience. But, until youāre 21, you canāt sit in the bar. No worries, the place is huge and TVs are ubiquitous. Plus, theyāll usually put on the game you want to watch, provided itās not Middle Tennessee St. - Louisiana Monroe.

Best place to watch NFL games: Wildcat House

1801 N. Stone Ave.

First of all, this place is huge. Secondly, RaiderFan is there, and he is definitely wearing face paint. The Wildcat House is nothing if not entertaining. There are four big screens in the joint, and they carry every game on the schedule. The food is good and cheap ÷ you can get a burger and fries for $4.95 at lunch ÷ and there seem to be no clocks in there (or natural light), which means you can spend 5 hours watching a game without even thinking about the midterm on Monday. Furthermore, there is no separation between the drinkers and the underagers ÷ they only ID you at the bar, which means you wonāt have to feel like youāre a loser. Even though you are.

Best non-campus UA sport: IceCats Hockey

Played at the Tucson Convention Center, 260 S. Church Ave.

Hell, the IceCats might be the best show on or off-campus. Thereās nothing better than the Madhouse on Main (the Tucson Convention Center, where the IceCats play their home games), especially when ASU is in town. As long as you familiarize yourself with the various chants that involve the word ćsuckä (e.g. - ćHe shoots, he scores, hey goalie, you suck!ä) you should fit in just fine. It also helps that the IceCats are annually one of the better club hockey teams in the country and win most of their games. If youāre one of those jackasses who thinks hockey is boring and believe itās funny to say, ćwhereās the puck?ä when itās on TV, then donāt bother. Because you, my friend, are the one that sucks.

Best low profile UA sport: Volleyball

Played at McKale Center

Believe it or not, thereās more to the volleyball team than tight shorts and lots of jumping. These girls are good. Last yearās team made it to the Final Four, the highest finish in the history of the program, and thereās nothing to suggest the success wonāt continue. Add the fact that volleyball is one of the most entertaining live sports to watch and that good seats are always available (and free) it all adds up to being the best non-football/menās basketball event on campus. Plus, if you were to walk up to one of these girls, they probably wouldnāt big-league you. But that doesnāt mean theyāll go out with you, either.

Best mini golf: Golf nā Stuff

6503 E. Tanque Verde Rd.

Donāt know the difference between a driver and a broomstick? Then mini golf is the sport for you, my friend. While there are a few places to choose from in town to satisfy your putt-putt jones, Golf nā Stuff is the class of the bunch. Offering three courses that feature a wide range of totally-cheesy challenges, itās cheap enough to take a date to, provided you donāt expect any action. After all, Don Juan, youāre not the first idiot to go mini-golfing just because you canāt think of anything more original to do. And if the mini golf gets old (and it will) thereās always lasertag. Prices are reasonable ÷ a round of mini golf costs $7 ÷ but itās a real trip to get there.

Best golf course you can afford: Randolph North/Del Urich

600 S. Alvernon Way

There are quite a few reasons why Randolph is the best golf course you can afford, not the least of which is proximity. Located at Broadway and Alvernon, the complex offers two courses to choose from ÷ the shorter, but slightly more difficult Del Urich course or the longer but more forgiving Randolph Ntorth course. In either case, you can be sure that the twilight rate (after 3 p.m.) will be reasonable ÷ $16 during the school year ÷ and the greens wonāt resemble scorched earth. Furthermore, the people in the pro shop actually seem to like students, which is a real plus.

Best place to buy golf balls: Wal-Mart

4 Tucson locations (closest to campus - 455 E. Wetmore Rd.)

Believe it or not, the selection of balls is really good at Wal-Mart. They have all the major brands (Titleist, Top-Flite, Strata, etc.) and the prices are much cheaper than at a specialty shop. They sell mostly 15-18 packs, and the prices are usually under $20 for everything. The only downside is most of the balls are extra-distance balls, so if youāre in the market for something a little softer around the greens, you might be S.O.L. Then again, you wonāt look very cool hitting those 200-yard drives, so maybe distance is the way you want to go.

Best batting cages: The Show

7777 E. Tanque Verde Rd.

Unfortunately, the selection of batting cages in Tucson is not great. But The Show is the best available, mainly because the rest of the cages are atrocious. Offering six cages with varying speed and none of those crazy pitches that act like turbo sliders, you can rest assured youāll be able to get some solid hacks in. Plus, the facility also offers a driving range, so you can embarrass yourself in two different sports at the same place. For $1.25, you can get 20 pitches, or you can swing for 15 minutes for $7.50.

Best place to buy gear: Just Sports

Tucson Mall

For you gear junkies, Just Sports is the closest to Mecca youāll find in Tucson. The highlight of their store is the huge selection of lids, including most baseball teamsā batting practice caps. They also have a good selection of UA and pro gear. Prices arenāt fantastic, but you should be able to find just about anything you want. The staff is really good too, so if youāre a girl and youāre trying to buy your boyfriend something heāll actually wear, this is definitely the place.

Best bowling alley: Fiesta Lanes

501 W. River Rd.

While Lucky Strike is more popular with UA students because of its proximity to school, Fiesta Lanes is a lot cleaner and less expensive. Unless youāre going on a promotion night, getting lanes is rarely a problem. For those of age, the beer is reasonably priced. If youāre a normal human being who doesnāt have toothpicks for fingers, thereās more than enough balls with bigger finger holes so you donāt have to do the whole under the legs thing. Unless you really want to.

Best post-game eats: Greasy Tonyās

828 E. Speedway Blvd.

Greasyās might be the best eats in Tucson, period. While it doesnāt come off as the cleanest or safest place in the world, the food is well worth the potential physical peril. Featuring such classics as the Trashcan and Super Italian subs and perhaps the greasiest pizza on the face of the planet, the joint that promises ćno charge for extra greaseä is a place that every UA student needs to patronize at least once. Itās a little on the expensive side, and they only accept cash, but itās worth every penny.

Best place to play homerun derby: Mo Udall Park

7200 E. Tanque Verde Rd.

Featuring two large fields, including one with a raised fence in right field, Mo Udall is the best place in town to pretend youāre Sammy Sosa for a few hours, even though youāll probably look a little more like Rex Hudler. The fences are a little over 300 feet away down the lines, and itās kept up pretty well. Sometimes the fields will be taken up by teams that have reserved them for practice, but itās rare both will be taken. The only real downside is itās a pretty long drive from campus.

Best place to buy sports equipment: Baumās

2845 E. Speedway Blvd.

Need to stock up on baseballs for a derby? Baumās is the place to go (and itās on the way to Udall park). The best thing about Baumās is its proximity to campus. The next best thing about it is price ÷ everything there is pretty reasonable. Plus, itās not one of those monolithic stores like The Sports Authority, so you can actually find someone to help you find stuff. They also have a pretty decent selection of hats, so if you donāt feel like making the trip to Tucson Mall you can probably find the lid youāre looking for.

Best paint ball: Desert Fox

9651 S. Houghton Rd.

While the paintballing is great at Desert Fox, nothing beats their commercials. If you havenāt seen it already, you will soon. Dudes with mullets and porn-stashes saying things like, ćThe best part ·(stutter) · is sneaking up behind some fool and shooting him in the back before he even knows heās hit.ä Likely the best local commercial ever made. Ads aside, Desert Fox is the most serious paint ball place, and their prices are pretty good. Check it out. Just donāt piss off the locals and become that ćsucker.ä

Best casino: Desert Diamond

I-19 and Pima Mine Road

Why a category for casinos? Because if youāre anything like most sports fans, youāre probably a gambling addict as well. If thatās the case, Desert Diamond is the best Tucson has to offer. Thanks to the ridiculous Arizona laws, thereās no live blackjack, craps or roulette (and, if youāre a total loser, Baccarat), but thereās a huge poker room, lots of slots and even some video blackjack if youāre willing to walk out of there like you just spent a month in Attica. Just be sure not to touch the ĪPoker 21ā tables ÷ while it may look like blackjack, itās really just the worst odds in the entire joint.

Best place to watch a UA football/basketball game: Nowhere

Get tickets, damn it.