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Section Header
Adoption ads aid would-be parents

By Sarah Wadsworth
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Monday May 5, 2003

Nestled in the newspaper between advertisements for acne cream and "hot singles" is an ad addressed to pregnant women looking to place their child with an adoptive family.

Couples who cannot conceive due to fertility or medical issues place ads as an alternative, or in addition, to more conventional approaches to adoption in an attempt to reach as many women as possible.

"It's like fishing in a lot of different fishing holes," said Lisa Pain, 44, a Phoenix woman who placed an ad in the Daily Wildcat with her husband John, 44, in an attempt to find a baby, as well as working through an agency and with an attorney.

A woman can decide to place her baby with an adoptive family at any time throughout her pregnancy, according to Maureen Roll, program director of pregnancy services for the Catholic Social Services in Tucson.

"If you're not planning a pregnancy, you can go into denial mode," Roll said. "I've gotten calls from the hospital from women that suddenly decide they want to place their babies for adoption."

Typically a birth mother will contact an agency or attorney, who will then help her make an "adoption plan" for her baby, consisting of finding a family, determining their involvement in their child's future and undergoing counseling, Roll said.
open quote marks
We made a mistake and we were able to correct it.

-Leo
Pima Community College student who gave his daughter up for adoption

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In other situations, as is the case with advertising, the birth mother will find an adoptive family privately and they will work together in planning the adoption.

"Our thought was that we would advertise in publications that we knew young women would be reading that might find themselves in a situation where they would need to look into adoption," Pain said.

This can often be the case in university settings, when women find themselves pregnant after a night of partying, or they conceived while in a relationship, but it has since dissolved, Roll said.

Leo, a student at Pima Community College, was not planning that his 17-year old girlfriend would get pregnant.

The two were involved were in a serious relationship and had considered getting married, but didn't.

He said that his girlfriend "doesn't make enough money to support a child on her own, and we didn't want to give our daughter to either of our parents."

"People make mistakes all the time. When you're growing up you make a lot of different kinds. For us we made a mistake and we were able to correct it," he said.

Sometimes, a woman can carry a baby to full term without her friends and family knowing she pregnant.

Approximately five UA students every year go to Catholic Social Services for help putting their babies up for adoption, Roll said. But with more than 15 adoption agencies located in Tucson, that number might not be representative of how many students actually put their babies up for adoption.

"It almost seems selfish to keep a child that you don't necessarily want, just because you feel obligated," said Emily Allen, 26, a third year UA graduate drawing and painting student in drawing/painting. "Some people feel like adoption isn't right, but it gives the baby a chance to survive, when (the birth mother) doesn't have the means, emotionally or financially, to support it."

Those same thoughts were shared by a student who put her daughter up for adoption a few month ago.

The woman, who asked not to be named, said that she got pregnant soon after graduating from high school. Although her boyfriend wanted to keep the baby, she decided that they would be unable to provide her with a financially stable home.

The costs of bearing a child can be excessive, but frequently with adoption, they will all be covered by the agency or adoptive family, Roll said.

The Catholic Social Service charges adoptive families 15 percent of their total combined income for the services rendered in finding a birth mother. Since the social service is non-profit, the money goes toward providing the birth mother with counseling and other labor expenses.

Private adoptions often cover additional expenses, such as travel, living expenses, and labor costs if the woman does not have health insurance, said Pain.

"In the final month the best thing for the mom and the baby may be for the mother not to work," said Pain. "We would cover the expenses for the time she would need to be off her feet. After having the baby, there may also be some living expenses paid so that she can get back on her feet and feel good about the experience."

While private adoptions work for many people, Roll cautions that it is important to look into the family very carefully before placing your baby with them.

"Look into 1-800 numbers very carefully," said Roll. "An 800-number can be cut off, so you need to be sure you know exactly what you're getting into and where your baby is going."

To prohibit "buying babies" Arizona state law requires a judge's approval to an adoptive family spending more than $1,000 on a birth mother's personal expenses, according to the Arizona State Legislature.

"I think there are some good parents out there, some older people who are more capable, but I also want to know my daughter as she grows up," Leo said, explaining why he chose to give his child up for adoption.


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