James Kelley staff writer

Sure, the playoffs for the league of wife beaters is just to kill time in between the real basketball tournament and the MLB All Star game, but since you go to a major basketball school, the NBA playoffs do have meaning. (The multi-overtimes are fun in the NHL playoffs, but when you think about it, aren't you just watching two teams who can't score?)

Not only are there former UA players on three of the remaining teams (five total), announcers Sean Elliott and Tom Tolbert donned the cardinal and navy too. If only there was a way to listen to Elliott and mute the master of the obvious, Brent Musburger. Here is your Arizona alumni playoff guide:

Sacramento Kings

Not only are the Kings led by Mike Bibby, who as a freshman led UA to the 1997 championship, they are also facing the Mavericks, the team that knocked out Damon Stoudamire's 'Blazers. Hopefully Stoudamire has played his last game for the team that you have to make an effort not to call the Jailblazers, but as long as ÎMighty Mouse' plays for them, you have to back them.

Chris Webber may be the flashiest and most marketable of the Kings, but Bibby is the heart. Had Phoenix native Bibby not led UA to the national championship, who knows if Arizona would have been able to recruit like it has recently.

New Jersey Nets

Last year former Wildcat Richard Jefferson turned the heads of the east coast sports writers who were writing odes to Duke, or who were asleep during UA's run to the 2001 title game, with an impressive rookie campaign. After trading Keith Van Horn to make way for more playing time for the former Moon Valley High School Rocket, Jefferson has not disappointed, moving on up to a commercial with Vince Carter and a spot on the most important USA Basketball team in years.

Jefferson makes the Nets the UA choice to represent the East in the finals. In the second season, R.J. is averaging 33 minutes, second only to Jason Kidd and Kenyon Martin on the Nets, 18.8 points and leads the team in field goal percentage. Impressive, considering the East thinks of him as more of a defensive stopper.

San Antonio Spurs

If there is one team that UA needs to back it is the Spurs. Arizona crowd favorite Steve Kerr may be playing his last season, and what better way to send him out than with another ring to go with the three he won with the Bulls, including nailing the clincher in the 1997 Finals.

Kerr is back with San Antonio, where he previously teamed up with the only other Wildcat ÷ Elliott ÷ to have his number retired, after serving time ÷ literally ÷with Portland.

In addition to its Kerr and Elliott ties, former UA signee Stephen Jackson dons the black and silver. Sure, Jackson didn't actually play for UA ÷ he lost his long battle to standardized tests and decided to skip college. But since he wanted to go to UA so badly that he took a class to try and get the score he needed on the ACT, I think UA fans should support him.

I never really understood how they were supposed to be racist, and I'm sorry, but if you have to take the SAT and/or ACT more than five times to qualify to play sports, you are as dumb as Mike Price. P.S. to anyone who thinks that UA athletics director Jim Livengood, who hired Price at Wazzu, should make Price Mackovic's replacement, "The price is wrong, bitch."

Los Angeles Lakers

I'll admit that I kind of wanted the Lakers to win the last few years. I mean, they have Phil Jackson and the next Jordan, but once Shaq's anti-Bibby agenda became apparent, UA fans, unless diehard Laker supporters (is there such a thing of L.A. teams?), had no choice but to turn on the purple warriors.

Shaq is as dumb as the bricks he lays when he is not three feet away from the bucket. Shaq just tried to use Bibby to justify not playing on the Olympic Team. I guess he has some Kazaam movie or Vanilla Ice style rap to make. Remember it is because of jerks like him that the latest "Dream Team" is not the Olympic team, it is the national team and has to qualify to play in the Olympics.