Matt Crothers

Junior gives little thought to cross-dressing, but knows where business students go for lunch

WILDCAT: What are you going to order here at Subway?

CROTHERS: I'm gonna have the Subway club on Monterey Cheddar bread.

WILDCAT: Yummy. What kind of toppings are you going to put on it?

CROTHERS: I like onions, lettuce and green peppers.

WILDCAT: Not so yummy. What about the oil and vinegar?

CROTHERS: No, don't want any of that.

WILDCAT: Have you noticed that on the Subway commercials they have only been showing Jared from mid-waist up? I think he may be gaining some weight.

CROTHERS: Yeah, that's what usually happens with diets ÷ everyone just puts the weight back on.

WILDCAT: Well, you're a pretty positive guy. Do you know how many grams of fat are in your sandwich?

CROTHERS: I can't say that I've ever really tried to look. I don't really care.

WILDCAT: People think their Subway is gonna be healthy, but then they put all that crap on it, and boom, there goes their cholesterol.

CROTHERS: Yeah, exactly. And, I always get mayonnaise and that adds a lot of calories, so.

WILDCAT: Sick! Definitely not a mayonnaise fan. How long have you been standing in line for your sandwich?

CROTHERS: About five minutes. This place is definitely the choice of the business college.

WILDCAT: Ooh, a big business party. Cool! So if you had to be a cross-dresser for a day, what would your name be?

CROTHERS: A cross-dresser for a day? I have no idea.

WILDCAT: Don't pretend like you haven't thought about it before. Just kidding.

CROTHERS: I have absolutely no idea.

WILDCAT: OK, well then what color would your dress and hair be?

CROTHERS: Well, if you are gonna cross-dress, you might as well go all the way. Do the pink dress thing and bleach-blonde hair.