Visit the Official Site

Grade:

F

Clumsy first times ÷ everyone has a story, although most people don't have theirs broadcast over cable television.

Comedy Central's first original movie, "Porn Īn Chicken," is more embarrassing than the name would suggest.

"But hey, man, this movie isn't trying to be good, it's just trying to be stupid," some could argue.

Who cares? Tagging along a SunTran bus route is more fun than this. The movie, which is based true events that occurred in the hallowed halls of Yale University, starts out with some initiative. It looks like it could be a sleeper stoner classic for about five minutes or about as long as the opening sequence lasts. Our hero, Josh, is a self-consumed, uptight twit who is obsessed with his envisioned future of getting into a graduate law school. Most people can relate.

He goes to a good college, is a member of student council, takes loads of credits, and constantly thinks about what is going to happen after he graduates. At this point, maybe not everyone can relate.

Josh then receives a letter of recommendation from a top professor making him a shoe-in to the law school of his choice.

It seems Josh is on a roll, until his girlfriend dumps him directly after reception of said letter. Broken, Josh confides in his stoner roommate and another slacker dorm resident. The two buddies then proceed to initiate Josh into their "Porn n' Chicken" club. With porno a- playing and mouthfuls of greasy chicken a-chewing, the trio toasts MGDs to "Acts of perversion and immorality."

The "P Īn C" club grows, adding countless members that meet once a week to eat fried chicken, drink cheap beer and watch porn. A campus-wide phenomenon is born and inevitably comes under heat from the school's administration. What follows is: an attempt to make an actual porno using members of the club, a coming-out of one of the three original members, blow-up dolls, dildos, water guns loaded with fake semen, a girl who is sexually pleasurable from any part of her body, freshmen jokes, Ron Jeremy, Jenna Jameson and a different T-shirt in every scene emblazoned with the title to a different Phish song.

Sound OK? It had potential-not Academy potential-but at least "Billy Madison" potential. However, no interesting aspect develops or delivers at any point. The jokes are stale, cheesy and recycled, and if these characters went to any other school besides "Fictional College A," they'd probably get beatn down more than Russell Crowe's red headed stepson.

For instance, the members never make anything look remotely interesting/cool/fun and as far as attention span goes, unless there is that level of intrigue, most people's spare time is way more exciting than these kids'.

On the plus side, since the movie will run on most basic cable systems, viewers will be able to witness just how thrilling and valuable their own free time really is.