Heather Iriye religious studies junior and desk assistant

Junior works at a desk, says she's a sexy brunette and claims to have some big psychic powers

Wildcat: (Calling from Cochise Residence Hall's courtesy phone, located outside the building)

Iriye: Cochise front desk. This is Heather. How can I help you?

Wildcat: Hello, Heather. This is Nathan and I work for the Arizona Daily Wildcat. We do these spontaneous interviews and I was wondering if you'd be game.

Iriye: Is this for "On the Spot"?

Wildcat: Yes.

Iriye: Yeah sure, hold on.

Wildcat: No, no, no. Hey! Heather? We're going to do it right here.

Iriye: Oh. OK.

Wildcat: I'm going to attempt to describe you, cause I can't see you. I just need to run some tests. I need you to say: "I am a sexy brunette."

Iriye: "I'm a sexy brunette."

Wildcat: You're a brunette?

Iriye: Yes.

Wildcat: Snaps. OK. Give me one word that describes your eyes, but not the color.

Iriye: Almond-shaped.

Wildcat: Aren't they all? Brunette · I'm going to go with brown eyes, no freckles.

Iriye: You're doing good so far.

Wildcat: All right. Hey, how about this. Can you describe me?

Iriye: Yeah. You're wearing a collared shirt. You have brown hair.

Wildcat: Aw, man. Are you looking at me?

Iriye: No, this is totally psychic. You have no idea · sideburns.

Wildcat: Yeah right. You're looking at me from somewhere.

Iriye: No, I'm psychic!

Wildcat: Whatever. I don't believe you. All right, I'm holding up a certain amount of fingers.

Iriye: You know, (pause) the connection is getting kind of fuzzy here ·

Wildcat: No. You're moving to a different position. I'm holding up two fingers · aw, never mind. I just said it. That was stupid of me. I'm holding up a different amount of fingers.

Iriye: Four.

Wildcat: Oh crap. You're on to me.

÷ Interview by Nathan Tafoya