RANDY METCALF/Arizona Daily Wildcat Arizona Repertory Theatre actors and theatre students Christine Woods (Ophelia), Nat Cassidy (Hamlet) and Lezlee Benninger (Gertrude) act out a seen of Hamlet during a dress rehearsal.

I recently went to a movie, and in the row behind me, an old, old lady was eating liver and fried onions from a Ziploc bag. She ate slowly and leisurely, unlocking the bag's protective seal every few minutes to eat. She created a rolling wave of thick, funky onion air in the theater; it completely distracted me from the movie. That sort of thing happened to me again Monday night when I saw the Arizona Repertory Theatre's presentation of "Hamlet."

So, to begin with, if/when you go to "Hamlet," any play or even the movies, do not do the following distracting, inconsiderate things that the people sitting in seats H3, 4 and 5 did Monday night. Don't beat out a tune on the lid of your water bottle, even if you have good rhythm and a nice water bottle. Don't whisper, laugh and talk to your boyfriend ÷ you rude, pretty girl. Don't leave your cell phone on, and if (oops!) you accidentally do, don't let it ring and ring and ring when someone calls you. Don't bring hard-to-open bags of candy ÷ bring easy-to-open ones and share. OK, that is all. Thank you for your time.

And now, "Hamlet."

The Arizona Repertory Theatre is currently presenting William Shakespeare's classic tragedy at the Marroney Theatre. There are a few things Shakespeare adorers should know before attending the performance. The play sticks to the script, but it is performed without Shakespearean accents (which is like a British accent, only burlier and more dramatic ÷ see Kenneth Branagh in anything). The sets are minimalist, predominantly white and rely as much on skilled lighting techniques as they do on props.

The costuming is gorgeous, but it, too, is nontraditional. I would describe it as the Mongols (of Genghis Kahn) meet the surreal costuming of Jennifer Lopez's flick "The Cell." In fact, the glorious costumes, created by School of Theatre Arts director Al Tucci and theatre production senior Sara Gulbrandsen, stand out as a breathtaking highlight of the show.

The play itself is dominated by the absolutely stellar performance of theatre production senior Nat Cassidy in the title role. Readers should stand up now and give Cassidy a "hurrah!" He nailed the performance and nailed his lines even when other cast members flubbed their own.

Another great performance came from musical theatre junior David Olsen as Polonius. The character of Polonius isn't necessarily a huge role in the play, but Olsen made it so, giving heart to the ridiculous and manipulative character. Olsen's stage presence was electric. I was sorry when he died.

I can't wholeheartedly recommend "Hamlet" to everyone. Shakespeareans (of the religious variety) will likely be annoyed by the nontraditional elements of the production. Some cast members deliver less stellar performances than Cassidy and Olsen. The theater itself is kept at a nosebleed-inducing 20 degrees below zero (perhaps to keep things from getting rotten in the state of Denmark?).

However, if you like theater in a nonreligious way, you'll likely enjoy this production. The costumes are bizarre and beautiful, and the lead performances are fantastic. Just bring a coat and scarf and remember to be courteous to the other theatergoers.