Christopher Wuensch Arizona Daily Wildcat

Hey Arizona Department of Fish and Game: You missed one in your hunt for wild cats.

The time has come for the UA to consider a mascot change. Wilbur, we love you, but maybe it's time you were taken out of Sabino Canyon with the rest of the wild cats.

I'm talking to you, Wilbur - the same mascot who blew out his knee tackling the Arkansas Razorbacks' mascot from behind in a 1995 Final Four game.

There's a tranquilizer dart with your name on it too, Wilma.

After all, there are 38 collegiate, pro and semi-pro teams dubbed the Wildcats. Tally up the high school teams that bear the same name and the total skyrockets to 403. Do a Google search on "sports nicknames," and have fun counting every single one.

How is the UA supposed to separate itself from the Wildcats of Latrobe High School in Pennsylvania (who should be called the Rolling Rocks) or the Wildcats of Sulphur Rock High School in Arkansas (insert your own witty social commentary)?

There are plenty of mascot names the university could adopt; you just have to know where to look.

Judging by the number of times an opposing receiver toasted an Arizona safety for a touchdown last season, new head football coach Mike Stoops should consider renaming his Wildcats the Rubbernecks. They'd only have to share that name with Akron of the Ohio-Penn League.

Football isn't the only sport that could use a re-name-vation.

Next season, Lute Olson will welcome Daniel Dillon from Hampton, Victoria, Australia to McKale Center. Perhaps the basketball team should consider converting to the same name as Blooming Prairie High School in Minnesota. BPHS can't be the only school hogging the name the Awesome Blossoms.

If Olson really wants to make Arizona uniquely his own, he could call his team the Silver Foxes just like Dutch Fork High School in South Carolina or El Paso Jefferson High in Texas. He could even rename his squad the Lutes (Washington's Pacific Lutheran University).

Perhaps the athletic department could choose a name that reflects a color, ‡ la the Crimson Tide. If so, it would have to stay away from the color purple. There are 26 mascots with some adaptation of Rome's royal color - the Purple Rage (Minnesota's Indoor Football League), the Purple Ghosts (New York's Alexandria Bay HS) and the Purple Pride (New York's Nyack College), to name a few.

Let's avoid the prefix "Golden" as well, since 64 mascot versions of it already exist. Plus, Pacific 10 Conference foes could take to calling Arizona the Showers, and everyone knows it never rains in Arizona.

Women's tennis, and its Quebec connection, could share the Alouettes with Montreal of the CFL and Quebec of the Canadian-American League. The Gymcats might see bigger crowds if they competed in just their Teddies (Minneapolis' Roosevelt HS).

Arizona could be the Flying Geese (Illinois' Kewanee Wethersfield HS) but not the Ganders - that name belongs to Robert E. Lee High School in Baytown, Texas.

The Icecats could follow in the skates of the Goal Diggers (Toledo; International Hockey League) or put the Biscuits (Montgome; Southern League) in the basket. If the baseball team ever had Omaha Beef (National Indoor Football League), they might find themselves getting kicked out of the B'ars (Albany; American Hockey League).

How about the UA band? Wouldn't it sound better as the Bluesmen (Greenville; Texas-Louisiana League) or the Calypso (Jackson; United Systems of Independent Soccer Leagues) or even the Mambas (Mozambique's national soccer team)?

If corporations continue to consume the UA, look for the Wildcats to be replaced by the Pepsies (Hannibal; Missouri Valley League).

It's too bad my brother already graduated, or Arizona could have switched to the Gas Bags (Iola; Missouri Valley League).

Tucson is well renowned for its Monsoons. So is Mayfair High School in California. Once that August Tempest (Carolina; Women's United Soccer Association) hits, you can be certain that the Flood Sufferers (Zanesville, Ohio; Interstate League) will soon become the Home Seekers (Paris; Texas League).

You don't have to be a Milkskimmer (Beatrice; Nebraska State League), a Booger (Bonham; Texas-Okla. League) or even an Obezag (Annapolis' Key HS) to see that there are plenty of mascots the UA could adopt.

For what it's worth, no Babies (Albany; South Atlantic League), Midgets (Wisconsin's Hurley HS) or Kittens (Baton Rouge's Southern Lab HS) were harmed in the making of this column.

As for the well-being of the Zee-Bees (Illinois' Zion-Benton HS), Pantsmakers (Mayfield, Ken.; KITTY Baseball League), Roller Gators (Orlando; Roller Hockey International), Rice Eaters (Bay City, Texas; SW Texas League), Sarape Makers (Saltillo; Mexican League) or Sasquatch (Washington's Spokane Community College) - not to be confused with the Seattle Bigfoot (USISL Premier) - for once, this Bonehead (California's Mount Tamalpias HS) has no comment.