Melissa Halterman/Arizona Summer Wildcat Roger Smiley, co-owner of Smiley's Ultimate Hookah Lounge, 503 E. 9th St., smokes shisha during a break on Saturday night.

Most smokers know the importance of having a cigarette to relax after a stressful day. So if you're going to slowly kill yourself, you might as well do it right by smokin' up some sweet shisha in a proper hookah lounge.

When Roger Smiley discovered that there were no full-on hookah lounges in Tucson (apparently the now-defunct Hazy Daze didn't count), he and his wife Sarah decided we needed one. After spending a year researching and setting up shop, the Tucson natives opened Smiley's Ultimate Hookah Lounge on June 5.

For those of you who've never tried it, shisha (also spelled 'sheesha') is flavored tobacco that comes in many yummy flavors like peach, vanilla, cherry and piña colada.

"Hookah" (also spelled "hooka") is the Americanized term for the glass-blown water pipe used to smoke the shisha. It was invented in Turkey over 500 years ago. In countries in and around the Middle East, it has several other names, including "nargile," "goza," "haqa" and the British favorite, "hubbly bubbly."

I'm not a fan of smoking because I like my lungs the way they are. But I gotta hand it to those Middle Easterners: Shisha is really nice. It's easy to inhale, doesn't have to remain in your lungs for very long and it's not really addictive since it contains very little nicotine. Plus it smells and tastes really good, unlike like that Marlboro crap.

Just so you don't get shot or killed while smoking in the Middle East (if you should ever go there), here's a quick tip I learned from a Syrian on hookah etiquette.

If you smoke with friends or strangers be sure to pass the hose properly. That means bending it in half in order to point the mouthpiece away from the person to whom you are passing it. Otherwise, pointing the tip of the hose at him is like saying, and I quote, "Fuck you." If you are being offered the hose, you must pat the hand of the person offering it to you before you begin smoking in acceptance.

"The shisha itself is supposed to teach tolerance, understanding, a little patience," said Roger. Perhaps so, but all I remember is coughing and laughing a lot in between puffs. No, unfortunately it doesn't get you high, but the idea of doing something that people have done for centuries is quite thrilling.

To be honest, Smiley's is a rather snug establishment, but the people are so warm and friendly that you hardly notice the lack of space. Fortunately all the smoking takes place in the outside lounge area, so there's no need to worry about smoke detectors going off.

Since you only have to be 18 to smoke tobacco, the biggest annoyance about a hookah lounge is potentially being exposed to a bunch of snot-nosed high school seniors and college freshmen. But the Smileys don't seem to mind them (and they all probably have curfews anyway).

In addition to coffee and soda, Smiley's also sells tea in glass bottles made by Jerome Baker Designs, Inc., which was shut down by The Man (AKA Operation Headhunter, a federal anti-drug raid) on Feb. 24.

The experience of starting Tucson's first hookah lounge has not been without opposition from law enforcement either. According to Roger, FBI agents, TPD and UAPD (who drive way out of their jurisdiction), regularly spy on Smiley's.

But to Roger, it ain't no thing to just invite them in and tell them the history and significance of hookah smoking.

Smoking for an hour costs $10. Available shisha brands include Al-Amir from Saudi Arabia and Al-Waha from Jordan. In addition, hand carved apples are made into Hookah bowls, which enhance the flavor of the shisha. The first bowl is free; the second bowl is $15 for each hour.

Smiley's also sells shisha to go in 50-gram increments. The nicest brand is Abu-Haitham, the "Connoisseur's tabac," which also comes from Saudi Arabia.

Smiley's Ultimate Hookah Lounge is located in the Iron Horse Historic District at 503 East 9th St. and is open Monday through Saturday from 5 p.m. to 1 a.m. Most folks show up between 8:30 and 9 p.m., so go earlier to beat the crowd.