It seems like everyone has "gay" on the brain this year. Bravo, NBC, the Canadian Parliament, our Supreme Court ÷ this society is suddenly gay-obsessed.

In the middle of all of this, newfound gays, faced with an erroneous American stereotype, could feel intimidated by the obsession.

This week the frenzy hits campus. It's Coming Out Week, a chance for those on the edge of realizing their sexual identity to leave the closet behind either personally or publicly.

Add to the mix a radical anti-gay speaker's visit to the UA. His name isn't worth mentioning. The only people who would know him and buy into his "gay conversion" rhetoric are right-wing extremists. Pride Alliance is planning to protest his visit, a slight upset in their Coming Out Week plans.

The talk and subsequent protest represent a culture war that has swelled in just the past year and is mobilizing both gay activists and the religious right.

The "gay" issue is becoming highly political. At the same time, our pro-gay media is capitalizing on America's new interest in this community's so-called lifestyle and issues.

Daniel Scarpinato Columnist

Still, gays on this campus and beyond will only overcome struggles if we reject stereotypes ÷ complimentary or not ÷ and create our own individual identities, rather than allowing the media to do it for us.

There's no estimate on how many will actually "come out" this week, but Jonna Lopez, the head honcho over at Pride Alliance, promises that many people do.

Of course, everyone goes through a different process.

For some, admitting they are gay comes naturally. They never think twice and neither do those around them.

Others make coming out an event.

And some hide it from themselves and put on an act.

For me, coming out was an evolution. Once I became comfortable with my sexuality, it became impossible and unnecessary to hide who I was from the people in my life.

I think most find themselves in similar situations. They see coming out as a long, ongoing process.

While the rainbow flag and drag queen shows might energize some, an "in your face" approach to gay rights could hurt the gay movement and isolate those on the verge of coming out. Don't be mistaken, the people at Pride Alliance are far from "in your face." Their work and that of others around the country who fight and lobby for gay rights is needed and valuable. But the mass majority of gays ÷ closeted or not ÷ are not politically involved.

The truth is that you probably know more gay people than you think, because most of them are either highly discrete or they don't fall into the prescribed stereotype.

Surprise: You can be gay and be a Republican. You can be a bad dresser. You can be deeply religious. You can love children. You can look forward to meeting one person and spending the rest of your life with him or her in a quiet suburb. Or you can be and want the complete opposite of all those things.

See, anyone who identifies the essence of who they are by one thing, most of all their sexuality, is setting his- or herself up for disaster.

Shows like "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" are fun to watch, but they convey an image of gay men that, while flattering, is simply not true.

It would be a shame if someone newly out felt compelled to fall into a media-formulated stereotype of being gay.

Coming out is not about falling into a party line. It's not about a movement or a flag.

It's about being honest with yourself and the people you care about. It's about having integrity and courage.

If interested in building an honest, positive message to the masses, the gay movement should promote a nonpartisan, inclusive atmosphere that rejects stereotypes. Forget about reclaiming the word "queer." It's insulting and unnecessary.

And those of us who are gay and struggling to gain acceptance should illustrate to others in our daily lives that we're just like everyone else.

Daniel Scarpinato is a journalism and political science senior. He can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.