Financial reasons force Showtime to cancel UA's 'Freshman Diaries' series

"Freshman Diaries," a television documentary that began filming in October, was officially cancelled last night, six months before it was supposed to end.

Showtime, the cable television network that would have aired "Freshman Diaries," cancelled the show for financial reasons, said Blake Lebin, a field producer.

"It was strictly a money issue and (had) nothing to do with the quality of the show, students, and the UA. Unfortunately it comes to money, which was the most disheartening thing," Lebin said.

Participants in what would have been a 12-part reality series documenting the lives of college freshmen said that the cancellation came as a complete surprise.

"You have to move on with your life, but something is missing that you're expecting to be there," said Kathleen Callahan, a freshman majoring in English.

Lebin, while wiping away tears from his eyes, said that when he found out the news, his first thoughts were of the students and what they would do without the diary cameras that have served as a form of therapy.

He also said that he had connected to the students, adding that he would miss the rare opportunity he had to enter their lives.

"I learned that life, especially at 18, is such an adventure and the only thing you can do is live it," he said.

Other members said the cancellation served as a reminder of what a great opportunity they all had.

"It's a very rare privilege to have people let you in their lives, as a documentary filmmaker you forget how rare it is, but when it's taken away you remember the value of it," said Ben Brand, a supervising field producer.

He added that the most painful element of the cancellation was that he would not get to see the rest of the freshmen's stories unfold.

"I was eager for the ride, but I wasn't able to get on it," Brand said.

As students gathered with the crewmembers for pizza last night after the announcement, they reflected on what the diary sessions meant to them.

"I got used to the diaries, they made me think about things about myself," said Jasmine Hobeheidar, a studio art freshman. "It's odd expressing feelings to the camera, but you get used to it."

She said she would jump at the chance to do the project again if Showtime found the money to start it up.

Lebin said that the show's producers will try to fight the decision to cancel the show.

Brandon McLaughlin, media arts freshman, said he was frustrated that money caused the show to be cancelled.

"It sucks, because it's not on a judgment of quality but just a dollar sign, money makes the world go round," he said.

Most of the crewmembers, who are now unemployed, will fly home today and start looking for another job.

"The nature of freelance is like jumping off a cliff and somebody always catches you," said Vanessa Holtgrewe, a freelance camerawoman.

Last year, "Freshman Diaries" was filmed at the University of Texas-Austin. It premiered on Showtime at the end of August.