Maybe I'm getting a little sentimental now that graduation's rapidly nearing, but more likely I'm just being the genuine individual I am when I say that Tucson is the best city on Earth.

Now I know what you're thinking: "Sabrina, that's a bald-faced lie, and your sophisticated glasses aren't fooling anybody."

But try putting your excellent points aside for just one moment and listen. I, too, was initially disappointed by Tucson. Its downtown was hardly impressive on the horizon, and its mountains were drab. And unlike the Midwest, which regularly deals with floods and tornadoes, Tucson didn't have any fun, natural disasters for me to chase around. Furthermore, aside from multicolored adobe houses and an obsession with gravel front yards, cactuses and other Southwestern decor, Tucson didn't seem to have much culture. [Read article]

Last semester, I strove to teach my beloved readers some student union etiquette. Not only did I notice that no one seems to listen to me ever, but I also realized a terrible oversight on my part: I forgot to mention that Rule No. 1 was to actually GO to the student union.

I assumed everyone knew that part. And you know what they say about assuming: It makes an ass of union administration. The union is foundering. [Read article]

In a couple weeks, the names of sex offenders employed at or attending the UA will be posted on a Web site so that their identities will be available to anyone who cares to know. I'd hoped that we would ultimately realize that additional punishment after sentencing and rehabilitation would be unjust and invasive. But apparently, we're willing to throw out privacy in the name of perceived public safety. [Read article]

After viewing the recent student performance of Shakespeare's "Hamlet," I got to thinking about some of the tragedies we face closer to campus. There's a lot of opportunity for heroic downfall around here, especially near construction sites. Just as in the Elizabethan era, we've got a lot of players around here (of sorts), and Shakespeare class is nothing short of a waking nightmare.

But if there's one place on this campus fraught with tragedy, it's the Integrated Learning Center. Now there is an ill-fated country if ever I saw one. Not to compare myself to Willie S., but I think the circumstances are worth writing about. [Read article]

For a lot of students, spring is the ideal time to buy a puppy. Not only is it warm enough to lock puppies outside until they get the potty training thing down, but it's a great time to let them frolic in the sun as an excuse to improve your tan.

Indeed, dogs are the only option for the self-respecting individual in need of a completely dependent but still animate companion.

I know that if I had enough money, I'd buy a dog this very minute. At first, it would seem like a match made in heaven; they like chasing squirrels and so do I. [Read article]

The sorority girls are sunning poolside, students are cursing the heat and residence hall inhabitants are researching apartment listings and lease agreements. Yes, spring's 100-degree wonder is in the air, and May is approaching in a hurry.

For most seniors, that means graduation and monetary gifts (which is good, since diplomas also signal student lenders to creep in to collect). For many of us, May also means the heart palpitations commonly associated with looking toward the future. [Read article]

When I was a kid, I'd go through fortune cookies by the bagful, discarding the crunchy goodness and gathering up my fortunes in my grubby hands, sometimes waiting to read them until I had a big pile to go through all at once. If one fortune seemed to repeat itself an extraordinary number of times, then that was the one that would come true. Starry-eyed, I would place it in my crumb-filled lap.

Without fail, though, the repeating theme was something like, "The warm rays of heaven shine down upon you," or, "You should not waste food so." [Read article]

I have a confession to make, and it's sort of embarrassing. No, I can't possibly · OK. I have a drinking problem ÷ a coffee-drinking problem, that is. I am a caffeine addict.

I've been late to work and class on numerous occasions in order to get my fix.

I sometimes know halfway through the line that I can't possibly make it in time to where I'm going, but I reason that after already advancing so far to the counter, I cannot turn back. [Read article]

Fully in Tact

Last weekend, one of my friends from back East paid me a visit. In my excitement, I wanted to give her the whole Tucson experience: a campus tour, getting robbed by a homeless man, getting whistled at by a Ford Explorer full of drunks, eating fake Mexican at Chipotle. You know, the works.

And we did do some of those things, but the highlight was spending Saturday on Mount Lemmon. Let me tell you, though · it's not just something you decide to do on the fly. The mountain is a wild space just barely tamed by asphalt and sweaty men in orange construction vests; lurking behind every picnic table and informational sign is danger. Extreme danger. [Read article]

For years, UA students have complained that they don't get enough seating in McKale. "I've been paying tuition for four years, and I've never gotten to see a game," they whine. "All I ever get to do is watch the fans hobble away to their Mercedes SUVs after the games, their khakis wrinkled from long hours of sitting."

I hate to say it, but the alumni are right: Students don't automatically have the right to see basketball games just because they attend this school. Alumni pay good money - tens of thousands of dollars - to attend our premiere team's games. If we students don't work to save up tens of thousands of dollars to contribute to the athletics program, then clearly, we just don't deserve seats at all. [Read article]

Look, I already know what you guys want to say, so save it. You want to say: "Dude, you're a candy heart. You can't talk."

True. I'm a candy heart. I can't talk. But don't dismiss me so easily because of that.

You have no idea what it's like to be me - how hard it is to order pizza, how dull karaoke night is, how impossible it is to get a part in a play. However hard life is for you, multiply that by 500 bajillion and that's how it is for me. And that's on a GOOD day. [Read article]

Hi. My name is Subject No. 54879 and I live in an animal research lab. Although I'm usually a pretty calm mouse - being as I'm nearly always despondent due to various experimental drugs - I feel compelled to write in defense of animal research. It's about time we get some old-fashioned RESPECT.

Researchers have long been criticized by organizations like People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals for using furry creatures as test subjects. I can recall more than one occasion when I was rudely awakened, not by severe cramping following bleach-laced pellets, but by loud protesters just below my window. Sometimes these protests last all night; they should be grateful my eyes were swollen with hair spray and I couldn't sleep anyway. Otherwise, you can be sure they would have been hearing from me. This mouse does not put up with that sort of foolishness. No, siree! [Read article]

You know the type: He saunters into class 10 minutes late, crosses directly in front of the lecturing professor to find a seat in the first row, and then allows his cellular phone to vibrate through numerous calls. Since he hasn't bought his own textbook, he leans over to read yours, giving you a smile to make others think you're friends and you're willing to share. After sighing heavily, he falls asleep for the remainder of the hour. [Read article]

With the end of another school year approaching, many students are gearing up for interviews.

Whether for medical school, a summer job or a classy internship, interviews are the sweat-inducing sentinels of the professional world. Let's face it: They're scary as hell, especially when people don't usually like you and you have a problem remembering verb tense agreement when under pressure. But push your self-doubt aside because there is hope. Below are eight helpful tips for when you find yourself in the sterile, white-walled, fear-inducing interview room. [Read article]

"This year, I'm going to eat more waffles."

"No more goofing off with bachelor's degrees; I'm going to live by my wits, hidden in Yellowstone National Park!"

"Tomorrow, I'm going to finally start that novel about the waitress who wins the lottery, only to discover she's a long-lost but not forgotten Romanian princess being hunted by her obsessed but endearingly eccentric great uncle."

I'm sure we've all made similar or identical promises to ourselves on New Year's Eve. In fact, to enforce just how serious we really are, we call them "resolutions." But early February finds us as we always were, surrounded by unfinished projects, neglected promises and hearts full of shame. Yet, we continue to fool ourselves this way, conjuring big dreams and mustering meager follow-throughs. [Read article]

Who's been to the mall since Thanksgiving? Who's called their parents three times already trying in vain to draw out a few gift ideas? And most importantly, who's backed over a little curly haired child in the JCPenney parking lot?

If you're smart, you can proudly answer "no" to all the above questions. Unfortunately, few of us are wise enough to stay in our homes until early January. 'Tis the season for shopping, regardless of how much we hate work-related gift exchanges, extended family and credit card bills. [Read article]

The relentless desert sun is setting on a long UA tradition: Next fall, Cochise Residence Hall will welcome female residents into its rooms for the first time in over 55 years. Living in close quarters with women has rarely been a source of male protest, and no one seems to be mourning over the change - except, perhaps, air freshener companies.

Still, Residence Life was wise to note that Cochise would be losing its old sense of identity in the transition - and wiser still to replace it with a new identity sorely needed: a supportive living space for undeclared students. [Read article]

This week, the sixth-annual Tunnel of Oppression ran "to challenge students to think about stereotypes, oppression and hatred." It featured such issues as racism, homophobia and classism.

Though the program stresses that society has a long way to go, its very existence demonstrates how far we've already come just in the last few decades.

However, while walking around campus, I can't help but wonder if we truly have an "Eye of Diversity," or if we are so caught up in the majority that we've become blind and even hostile toward the minority - this time, not toward demographic minorities, but toward minority opinion. Over this past semester, I've heard students cry out against critical commentary of ethnic groups, speakers against homosexuality on campus, religious bands playing on the Mall and humor based on stereotypes. [Read article]

This week, the sixth-annual Tunnel of Oppression ran "to challenge students to think about stereotypes, oppression and hatred." It featured such issues as racism, homophobia and classism.

Though the program stresses that society has a long way to go, its very existence demonstrates how far we've already come just in the last few decades.

However, while walking around campus, I can't help but wonder if we truly have an "Eye of Diversity," or if we are so caught up in the majority that we've become blind and even hostile toward the minority - this time, not toward demographic minorities, but toward minority opinion. Over this past semester, I've heard students cry out against critical commentary of ethnic groups, speakers against homosexuality on campus, religious bands playing on the Mall and humor based on stereotypes. [Read article]

According to the Dean of Students Office, "'Disruptive behavior' means conduct that materially and substantially interferes with or obstructs the teaching or learning process in the context of a classroom or educational setting."

That sounds reasonable, and the disruptive behavior policy passed by the faculty senate last week - based on faculty and student surveys - appropriately includes cell phone usage, arriving late to class or leaving early, eating, reading the newspaper and packing up early. [Read article]

Tuesday night's forum at the Student Union Memorial Center, organized by Republican City Councilwoman Kathleen Dunbar, quickly turned toward underage drinking when law enforcement officials again announced that underage drinking is a punishable offense.

Student arguments against this point were varied, but all were ridiculous.

As one ASUA senator pointed out, the guy whose fake ID is confiscated will probably only drink more out of spite. True, and if he's caught again, he'll again be held in violation of the law. Who looks stupid, him or the police? [Read article]

Lately there has been a lot of commentary about Teach for America, a nonprofit organization that primarily puts recent college grads into low income and rural classrooms across the United States. In previous years, Teach for America not only offered its workers full teaching salaries and school loan deferment, but also educational awards of more than $4,000 per year to be put toward continuing their education. [Read article]

Drainage around Tucson inconveniences drivers in rainy weather and we all complain about rush-hour traffic in a city that could certainly use better planning. But for some species, such as our little hopping friend the toad, the rains and roads mean even more dangerous travel.

Monsoon season is a rough time for Tucson-area toads. All they want to do is feed and breed when the rains come, but Speedway Boulevard runs between where they live and where they mate. That means leapfrogging it across a busy road and ‹ no offense to toads ‹ judging by the number of bodies turned up by National Park Service surveys, they clearly don't have the mental capacity to look both ways. Hundreds of Couch's spadefoot, red-spotted and Colorado River toads die on Speedway each year during the monsoon season. What should be a life-giving season becomes one full of fatalities for these species due ‹ once again ‹ to human development. [Read article]

Okay, so it's understood there are a lot of new people on campus, what with it being a new year and all. That means a lot of people don't understand how the student union works, and it's not just the new folk either; clearly, plenty of those coming back to the campus need a refresher course in basic student union etiquette. So, in response to student demand and an obvious need, I present some basic tips for happy dining: [Read article]

It's probably hard to imagine that at a public university, professors could be told where they could and could not order their classes' textbooks. If they chose to defy orders, they'd have to work on a "don't ask, don't tell" policy, as if they were at risk of losing their jobs or having their departments' funding cut entirely. Where could such an outrage possibly be permitted?

The answer is...at the University of Arizona. [Read article]

It's inevitable that as Tucson grows, housing developers will take over greater stretches of wilderness. As more homes sprout up from the desert, it's not just buyers who pay the price; Arizona wildlife is also footing the bill, but with its very existence.

This week, it is the humble northwest side pygmy owl that has grabbed headlines. It's been on the endangered species list since 1997. At that time, the owl's dwindling population prompted a federal plan to set aside 1.2 million acres northwest of Tucson as the owl's stomping ground. [Read article]

Last week, the Sex Crimes Prevention Act was enacted by the Arizona Legislature. It will give students, faculty and staff access to the names of all registered sex offenders working or living on campus.

"I think it's going to make (campus) a much safer place," Jon Kyl said. "Students on a university campus should have just as much right to a safe environment as anyone living

anywhere."

But how does this make campus safer for anyone? Let's say we do find out a student in our class was formerly convicted of a sexual offense. Should we be sure not to sit at a desk next to him or her? Does that make us safer? Should offenders be required to eat alone in the student union? Or perhaps they can pick up a T-shirt they are forced to wear when they gain employment or register for classes, just so we all know and can feel relieved. [Read article]