Shane Bacon sports writer

"Even the best fall down sometimes/Even the wrong words seem to rhyme."

- "Collide," Howie Day

Those are the lyrics from the 25-year-old Bangor, Maine, native from his 2003 album Stop All the World Now.

That, my fellow Wildcat faithful, is what our group of 105 players and 16 coaches will be wanting to see when they step their cleats in Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum Saturday afternoon.

The facts are very clear and very chilling.

The Wildcats are 6-22 all-time against Southern California and lost 49-9 (I lost money on the spread last year) to the eventual national champions.

The Trojans have more hardware than a Home Depot and have not only Los Angeles god Matt Leinart leading the charge but also more weapons behind the senior quarterback than North Korea.

Saying it won't be easy to take down the best team in the land would be like ordering a Keystone Light at Sullivan's.

It's not going to be hard, it's going to be ball-busting, Herculean, man-sized, challenging and any other word I can find in my pocket-sized thesaurus.

So how do we do it?

How do we checkmate Deep Blue? Is it possible to uppercut Ali? Can I hit a 1-iron closer to the pin than Jack Nicklaus?

It might be hard, but it isn't impossible.

Think back to Oct. 10, 1981, when USC hosted our older Wildcats.

Marcus Allen's Trojans were the nation's top-ranked team, and the Wildcats were a measly 2-2.

Allen rushed for 211 yards, but it was Arizona that prevailed 13-10 for just its second upset of a No. 1 team in the program's history.

We can all agree it is going to take more than 13 points to beat these Trojans.

Hell, I can think of three NFL teams west of the Mississippi that might give up points to USC if the Las Vegas boys were truthful.

All the Wildcat defense has to do is contain the third-best rushing offense and seventh-best passing offense in the nation.

The latter might not be that difficult, in all honesty, because the Wildcats are leading the conference in pass defense.

The other side of that coin might keep Wildcat fans off the field, as Arizona has the worst run defense in the Pacific 10 Conference.

To have a chance, Wilbur Wildcat might need to sneak in the locker room before the game and slip some Nyquil in Reggie Bush's and LenDale White's Gatorade.

So what about the other side of the ball?

With quarterback Richard Kovalcheck throwing three interceptions Saturday against California, the offense might look at recruiting Terry Bradshaw out of the announcers booth to throw a few passes to our receiving corps.

It isn't a huge deal, though. USC's defense is allowing just 18 points a game, so if we hit around our average of 20 points per game, it would keep the statistics fairly balanced.

The main thing to think of is this: Tiger Woods might be the best golfer in the world, but when he steps his swoosh on the first tee against Vijay Singh, Jason Gore or Wildcat junior Henry Liaw, it is still just golf, and if you get the ball in the hole in fewer strokes than Woods, you win.

It works the same in all sports. USC's good, it's better and it's the best, but the Trojans are still playing the same game as Arizona on Saturday.

Leinart might be too hungover from a late-night session with Nick Lachey. USC head coach Pete Carroll might mistake us for ASU and get down early in the first half. President George W. Bush might get USC's mascot confused with Odysseus' master plan from Greek mythology and send U.S. troops into Southern California.

Whatever ESPN's College Gameday says is supposed to happen on Saturday, remember, America did beat Russia on ice and Pauly Shore is, sadly, more famous than I'll ever be.

Shane Bacon is a journalism senior. He can be reached at sports@wildcat.arizona.edu