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Thursday, January 15, 2004
photo Fluffy is dead: Where do pets go when they die?

Ever since the beginnings of animal domestication in East Asia and the Old World, animals have learned to weasel their way into the emotional sentiments of their masters.

When these animals, or pets, die, they leave behind more than uneaten birdseed or dirty kitty litter. Dead pets are often survived by grieving individuals or families and ultimately, by the infamous mobster question: "What do we do with the body?" [Read article]

photo Treating your bitch like a lady

Meet Honey May Nieto. She's petite and very well-behaved. She doesn't dress up all the time, but when she does, it's with a cute sweater or hat. If it's casual, maybe a logo tee from Cheesecake Factory or the UA. She's very quick on her feet, competing in a race and placing fourth - very impressive for a first-time racer. She's close with her family despite a Phoenix to Tucson distance.

"She's like my daughter," Gloria Nieto, UA graduate student studying public health, said of her Chihuahua, Honey May. [Read article]

photo An obvious teacher's pet

We've all seen it happen. Sweaters are frequently knitted, multiple birthday presents are purchased and specialty food is the norm.

Yes, owners can get too attached to their pets.

David Soren, regents professor in the classics department, and Faye Robinson, voice professor, have taken their pet attachment to a new extreme. They've taken it to class.

Kristina, Robinson's Chihuahua, has a perfect attendance record at the UA over the last five years, Robinson said. [Read article]

photo You aren't ready for Grand Buffet

Let's play some word association. Who do you think of when you hear the phrase "funny white rapper?"

Do you think of Eminem? Wrong.

Vanilla Ice? Wrong again. Plus, he's dead - isn't he?

What you should be thinking is "Grand Buffet." They're a hip-hop duo (Lord Grunge does the production and music while Grape-a-Don provides lyrics) from Pittsburgh, but they've got the funniest rhymes this side of Detroit. [Read article]

photo Poetry Center feels new rhythm in fresh surroundings

Even though the Poetry Center's new location isn't as cozy as their old cottage at 1216 N. Cherry Ave., the staff is trying its best to make it as comfortable and accommodating for its guests as it was before.

"What we may have lost in charm we'll make up for in efficiency and better working conditions for the staff," Gail Browne, executive director, said.

After having its three buildings torn down to make room for an expansion on the University Medical Center, the Poetry Center has moved to another temporary location at 1600 E. First St. [Read article]

Time to clean it out

This one goes out to my dad - who got me the Sonicare Advance 4000 toothbrush for Christmas. Thanks, Dad.

I thought I'd write this column about cleansing your body of gross detritus. That's what I'm all about lately. Get the detritus out. Who wants it? Who needs it? Not me - I'm living clean, teeth to toes.

And guess what: You're carrying more hang-on gunk around with you than you think. Wash your hair, scrub your nails, Sonicare your teeth - you think you're clean? Think again, sucker. Sure, good hygiene is a step in the right direction. But I hear that, on average, Americans carry roughly 15 pounds of useless glop around with them wherever they go. I mean in your large intestine. Undigested disgusting grime is coating your intestines. What are you going to do about it? [Read article]

photo "21 Grams" is up or down

"21 Grams"

(Focus Features)

Rating: 1.0 or 5.0 out of five

It's hard for me to say whether "21 Grams" was the most inventive and brilliant film of the year or a piece of masturbatory garbage that's intentionally confusing so people will think it's the most inventive and brilliant film of the year.

So I'll write two reviews:

1. "21 Grams" is the most brilliant film of the year. By intertwining four seemingly separate stories, Alejandro González Inárritu gripped me and had me on the edge of my seat for two hours. [Read article]

photo Tucson and Campus Calender


The Fashionistas - Playing in the front lounge of Plush, 340 E. Sixth St. 10 p.m. $2 cover. 798-1298

An Intro to Kabbalah - Congregation Bet Shalom, 3881 E. River Road. Learn more about the meanings behind ancient Jewish mysticism. 2 p.m. 577-1171

Grand Buffet - Solar Culture. 31 E. Toole Ave. Rhymes and beats from this out-of-town act. The Bandye opens. 9 p.m. $6. 884-0874

13th Annual Jewish/Israel Film Festival - Tucson Jewish Community Center, 3800 E. River Road. Come see films from Jewish filmmakers about the Jewish people. 7 p.m. $6. 322-9544. [Read article]

photo Music Reviews

Chutes Too Narrow

The first song on Chutes Too Narrow, the Shins' second full length, is "Kissing the Lipless."

If this song doesn't open your eyes and give you a jolt, then I think you need to jump in the microwave.

In fact, the first infectious, belted chorus may be the best few seconds on any 2003 album. It doesn't matter that's it downhill from there, because it depresses slowly, and the album as a whole still makes sense. [Read article]

Concert series jazzes up new PSU

Improvisational jazz usually brings to mind wise old musicians, whose decades of experience make it possible for them to seamlessly jam with other players and compose music in real time.

But what the kids in the Arizona Jazz Academy lack in experience, they make up for in practice and tenacity. When they play their last set during the Park Student Union's new Jazz Concert Series, a set of jazz improvisation, they'll be doing something even musicians twice their age find a little intimidating - they'll be creating music on the fly. [Read article]

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