Take films with fight scenes in them, cut out all the rest of the movie, and package it on DVD with some dubious "bonus" features, and you have "Ultimate Fights."

Yes, for those individuals who just can't wait for the sound of ribs cracking, bodies flying and blood a-splatterin', here it is.

Sixteen films are featured, and oftentimes the fight shown is the climax of the movie, such as the final gun battle from "Scarface." Then again, the person who buys this probably cares little about cinema and lots more about the sight of human blood.

Yep, there's Russell Crowe fighting tigers in "Gladiator," Sly Stallone fighting small town cops in "First Blood," and Jackie Chan fighting 27 Chinese people that move really fast. There's even a fight card with stats for each fight, so if one wants to know how many hits Roddy Piper landed in the alley fight from "They Live" (19), it's there.

Oh, but the senseless assault on the intellectual does not stop with the fights.

The back cover claims there are "over five hours of action-packed special features!" which can't be true at all, because the cover also notes that the film's running time is 54 minutes.

(Maybe they tell time differently in the place they made this DVD, which, if it has a name, is probably Retarded Menville.)

So, about these extra features: A person can select their top five fights out of 16 - not all that impressive. They can listen to a "party mix," consisting of all the fights on the disc edited to bad techno, and a "Name that Frame Game" where a frame is displayed from one of the movies, and players have to guess which movie it belongs to.

There is also some directors' commentary and "Flix Facts," both of which give one information about the movie without the inconvenience of having to actually watch it.

The only thing mildly interesting on this DVD is the "Behind the Punches" featurette, in which trained stuntmen show the viewer how to pull off some of the movie punches and kicks seen in the movies. Curiously, it also includes commentary by Jean-Claude Van Damme, because, as we all know, if there is one thing he's good at, it's commentary.

My recommendation is to not even pick this thing up. If action flicks are what people go for, they are better off just getting the whole movie than this potpourri of pain.