Monday October 1, 2001

I hate irony. Well, not all kinds of irony. Socratic irony is kind of OK. Dramatic and literary irony is good. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hate interest irony.

I realized this for the first time last year as my friend and I were walking into a party thrown by a girl I only vaguely knew. We walked past her collection of Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block posters to the alcohol table, to avoid being called into the circle to dance to some Britney Spears song I didn't recognize.

This girl had pretty decent taste. I had seen her CDs and her books around the house - J.D. Salinger and Sylvia Plath books next to Mark Paul Gosselaar bios and issues of Teen Beat, and OK Computer right next to Hangin' Tough. So why this big need to act like she was into bad pop music?

She was, of course, trying to be ironic. People still seem to equate this type of irony with wit. They think that making fun of embarrassingly bad music and movies is very, very funny, and that pretending to like it is also very, very funny.

But there is just a point where it just isn't funny anymore.

Remember Spam? OK, remember when people used to wear Spam T-shirts, make references to Spam and generally make fun of Spam? It got old quickly. Now it's just another hipster, retro joke in a sea filled with Pee-Wee Herman dolls and Gary Coleman fan clubs.

Here are some other examples of interest irony:

Referencing episodes of "Full House," especially the ones with public service announcements at the end.

Buying bad '80s movies that no one, absolutely no one, could legitimately enjoy such as "Gleaming the Cube," "Dirty Dancing" and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," the two sequels. (but not the first one, because the first one was awesome).

Listening to NSync. Buying NSync albums. Buying NSync merchandise.

Watching the Spice Channel just to make fun of the bad acting and bad music, when really, all you want to do is watch people doing it. (which I've never done - ever.)

I'm not saying it's terrible to like those things. You can derive genuine enjoyment from kitsch and trash culture. The Shaggs, John Waters movies and hardcore pornography can all be enjoyed legitimately. I mean that's why I bought the "Best Of Backyard Wrestling" videos. They're really fun to watch. I bought them after watching them advertised during the "Jerry Springer Show," which I used to watch every night, usually by myself.

I just think it's wrong to pretend to like things you don't really like, only because it could be sort of funny.

One way to tell whether you really like something or whether you're faking it for the irony is to perform this simple test. I call it the At-Home Irony Test. Do you listen to the Backstreet Boys when you're home, alone, when no one's around to share your wit? You do? Wonderful. Then you truly have bad taste, but at least you're not being ironic.

But if you find yourself listening to Weezer when you're by yourself, instead of NSync, like you do when you're with your friends, then you don't really like NSync. You're just trying to be ironic. Come on, just admit you like Weezer - admit that you even like its new album.

There are too many good movies, bands and television shows for you to spend all your time making fun of the bad ones. So spend your time finding things of genuine interest to you, instead of wasting your time on crap you can't really like, just to look hip for your friends. Don't worry about people laughing at something you really like. No one has the right to make fun of you for something you genuinely care about.

Except for people who are cooler than you.