Scheize Taschenkunst, El Chupacaera, Cupcake, Shawstank, University of the Pacific students and alum in Tucson for Spring Break

Strange conversations about war, women's field hockey

SHAWSTANK: We're your rival in women's field hockey.

WILDCAT: We have a field hockey team?

EL CHUPACAERA: We saw them practicing.

WILDCAT: Really? That's good to know. I really had no idea that a women's field hockey team even existed on this campus, but YAY! Go women's field hockey. So, Scheize Taschenkunst, you live in Tucson, what's your story?

SCHEIZE TASCHENKUNST: I graduated from their school about two years ago in graphic design.

WILDCAT: And what do you do now?

SCHEIZE TASCHENKUNST: Uh, nothing.

WILDCAT: Cool. What brings y'all to Tucson?

CUPCAKE: Spring break.

WILDCAT: Why Tucson?

CUPCAKE: To see him (points to Scheize Taschenkunst).

WILDCAT: Awww. That's so nice of you guys.

EL CHUPACAERA: We actually came to torment the field hockey team.

WILDCAT: Oh really. I am so sad I haven't seen them.

SHAWSTANK: They are huge. Their calves are like ·

WILDCAT: Big? As big as my head? I mean they do a lot of running, and field hockey isn't a walk in the park.

CUPCAKE: I really don't care about field hockey.

WILDCAT: Me either. I am so glad that we have wasted all this space talking about it. We are never going to get those few minutes back.

CHUPACAERA: They wear a dress.

WILDCAT: What? That is ridiculous. Who thought of that?

SCHEIZE TASCHENKUNST: But you do get to hit people with a stick.

WILDCAT: Always good. So, speaking of sticks, why the costumes?

SCHEIZE TASCHENKUNST: We're costumes against war.

WILDCAT: Do you wear them everyday?

EL CHUPACAERA: We've done it two nights.

WILDCAT: Is it hot? It's gotta be hot.

SCHEIZE TASCHENKUNST: Yeah, the hats get hot.

WILDCAT: I can imagine. What the crap are they made out of? Yours is all pimp velvet and Chupa's is crocheted · ahh, grannies all over the world would be proud.