New book is a poor attempt at imitating ÎWorst Case Scenario' franchise; while it may not even be Fulgham's worst effort, don't read it at home ö in fact, don't read it at all

Grade:

D-

Author: Hunter S. Fulghum

Useless knowledge. This clichŽ is used to describe various sorts of odd facts and obscure trivia. In "Don't Try This at Home," by Hunter S. Fulghum, he writes an instructional book on useless knowledge.

Remember the hit book "Worst Case Scenario?" Yes, it was one of Urban Outfitters' most prized novels that they sold next to their Jesus nightlights. Fulgham has taken the idea behind its success and attempted to pilot another "how to" novel. The book is assembled into short chapters with titles like "Tow an Iceberg to a Drought-Stricken Nation," "Rescue an Astronaut," "Form your Own Independent Nation" and "Drive a Tank Through a Tornado." However, to perform each feat you only need a billion - dollar submarine or oil tanker, instead of the MacGyver technique in "Worst Case Scenario," which calls for a roll of mint floss and a spatula. Do not be tempted to buy this book because it is based on the same premise as the latter ÷ that the book was actually amusing and worth buying.

Within every chapter is a process broken down into subcategories titled "Materials You Will Need," "Time Required," "Background" and "Instructions." Although the background information contains historical references and dates of interest, the research is where the majority of useless knowledge can be found. In "How to go Over Niagara Falls in a Barrel," the background tells the reader that it was first accomplished by a woman in 1901. It was a nice attempt to be inclusive for all your feminist readers, but the more intelligent sex is not reading your trash, Fulghum. His facts could still be possible "Jeopardy" questions, but it is unlikely that any UA students could make it past the first cut to even be considered a contestant.

The target audience for this book is more frightening than the actual suggestions in the book. The intended audience would consist of immature college boys with addictions to video games and anything else that is virtual or James Bond-esque. They must also have millions of dollars to carry out feats that would be diagnosed by a psychiatrist as the Hero complex. Sound like anyone else's ex-boyfriend? In other words, this book will be in most fraternity houses.

Even shadier is the resource Fulghum credits for gathering information: "his circle of friends." Now, he could very well be chums with CIA agents, but if most people were to rely on their group of friends for book ideas, there would be a lot more instructional drug and sex reading material out there.

However, while reading this book came the inspiration to write some of my own instructions, but this is directed at women who have spotted this book in their boyfriend's apartment. Materials needed: the evil eye and a high-pitched yell. Background information: Only morons read this book. Instructions: While he is distracted crunching beer cans over his head, open door, run away and disconnect your phone line once at home.

However, this is not the worst compilation of crap that has been published; Fulghum's other book, "Office Dirty Tricks: 50 Ways to Sabotage Your Coworkers and Bluff Your way to the Top," is, by title alone.

If you already own this book, my suggestion is to keep it within arm's reach of your bathroom in case you run out of toilet paper.