Christian Dix

In order to make the Final Four more competitive, the NCAA will refuse to tell Luke Walton where the games are being played. In what will later be called his most brilliant coaching move, head coach Lute Olson will activate Bill Walton from the announcers' booth. Papa Walton will go for 25 points and 12 rebounds, and the Wildcats will beat Florida for the NCAA championship.

The University of Washington, fed up after too many losses and recruiting violations, will fire head coach Rick Neuheisel. Slick Rick will set off on a journey to find himself, finally settling in with a cult camp located in the Amazon jungle. Mrs. Neuheisel, distraught after her husband's disappearance, will realize her love for a certain reporter, and will move from Seattle to Tucson and take up residence with her new beau.

In a surprise move, Athletics Director Jim Livengood will fire John Mackovic and replace him with actor John Malkovich. The versatile character actor will immediately inspire the whole team, and will lead them to a Las Vegas bowl bid next year. Sadly, while in Vegas, Malkovich will forget that he is not Teddy KGB from "Rounders" and will wager and lose his quarterback at the poker tables, and the UA will lose again.

Bobby Wade, Jason Johnson and Lance Briggs will all be drafted into the NFL by the San Francisco 49ers, where they will reunite with former UA head coach Dick Tomey, who will also be hired by the team. However, Johnson will get tired of running the quarterback draw, and in a strange reversal of roles, will call Tomey a disgrace to his family. He will immediately be cut and sent to NFL Europe to play with Ortege Jenkins.

High school superstar LeBron James, fresh off his suspension, will decide against declaring for the NBA draft, citing a desire to get an education. He will then enroll at UA, only to watch his major, library sciences, be cut during the Focused Excellence campaign. James, angry with the school, will then appeal his suspension and agree to play basketball at the University of Oregon, where he will beat up on Arizona for four long years. Pete Likins will say that this move was indeed good for the school.

While recruiting members for his cult in the Amazon jungle, Rick Neuheisel will be charged with making an illegal commune visit. This violation, combined with his earlier indiscretions, will result in his expulsion from the camp. Slick Rick will then take his guitar and his long hair to Belize, where he will run into an angry swarm of mosquitoes. He will be saved, however, when he convinces the insects to play football for him, and the next year, he will win the National Championship of Belize, the first title of his coaching career.

Former Wildcat guard Will Bynum will indeed play basketball at Georgia Tech. Bynum will graduate in four years with a degree in engineering, and he will enjoy a long career in the NBA. Upon retiring, UA will ask Bynum to design the new student section for the basketball games. In a twist of fate, Bynum's design is rejected when it is deemed too flashy and therefore not good for the overall morale of the team.