Matt Stout music education freshman

Freshman band member plays baritone, looks more like a Hobbit than an Oompa Loompa, and thinks Wonka was dealing

WILDCAT: Why are you laughing so much? Are you so excited? You're going to be famous!

STOUT: No, I'm just a happy guy.

WILDCAT: So, what is this instrument here you're playing? Is it a trumpet?

STOUT: No, it's a baritone.

WILDCAT: Oh, a baritone. It's all the same to me. I'm sure it still gives you puffy lips though.

STOUT: Oh yeah, yeah.

WILDCAT: Does it make you look like a duck?

STOUT: I don't know if I'd call it a duck.

WILDCAT: So, do you play at every women's basketball game?

STOUT: Almost every one.

WILDCAT: Who's your favorite player?

STOUT: I'd probably say Pokey.

WILDCAT: Do you want her autograph?

STOUT: Sure.

WILDCAT: Would you ever let her sign your butt?

STOUT: I don't know if I'd go that far.

WILDCAT: Just a plain old piece of paper will do for you, huh? Come on Matt, spice it up for me. So, why do your band friends here keep saying something about Oompa Loompas?

BAND FRIEND: Tell him to stand up.

WILDCAT: See, I don't think you look like an Oompa Loompa, maybe a Hobbit, but not an Oompa Loompa.

STOUT: Yeah, they call me Bilbo Baggins.

WILDCAT: Nice. So, do you think that Willie Wonka was really a movie about chocolate, or do you think there was some underlying drug meaning?

STOUT: It's been a while, but I'll go for the drugs.

WILDCAT: Yeah, especially that part where they're on the boat going through that creepy tunnel. I'm a little concerned about that part. And Oompa Loompas, they looked like they were doing some serious drugs.

STOUT: Well, Willie Wonka did. We all know he was a dealer.

WILDCAT: Interesting, I had never thought of that, but there goes all my childhood hopes and dreams. Thank you for that.