Illustration by Arnie Bermudez

First came the finger-flicking sensation of pogs, second came the life-sustaining AOL Instant Messenger Service, then the dramatic Livejournal blog arrived, which allowed for washed-up high school cheerleaders to whine about how they don't have the latest ponchos from Abercrombie & Fitch. Time has moved on and now college students are presented with the ever-useless and evil Thefacebook.com.

Thefacebook is a Web site that hosts categories of different universities across the United States and allows for students at each school to set up a personal profile. Once a student signs up and sets up his profile, he can browse through the profiles of other students and make the life-or-death decision of adding them as a "friend."

Not only can individuals find friends through Thefacebook, but they can also join groups they fit in the best. Two popular groups on the UA Thefacebook are "For the Last time I'm Not Mexican, I'm Mother-Fucking Filipino" and "Say No to the White Man-Fro." Although Thefacebook might seem like a fun and good idea, in reality it's horrible and should be condemned to hell. There are three things drastically wrong with Thefacebook: It is a promoter of self-prostitution, it's useless and it's addicting.

Moe Naqvi Columnist

Thefacebook brings back memories of elementary school student council election campaigns. During the elementary years of student council campaigns, kids would dress snazzy, give out large candy bars and flirt, all in hopes of getting other kids to vote for them on election day. On Thefacebook it's pretty much the same thing. Men and women post "PHAT" pictures of themselves along with a catchy quote on their profile in order to attract other students of picking them to be their friend or maybe even lover. Both groups of people are advertising themselves like prostitutes, and it makes me disgusted.

I'm sorry, but Thefacebook is a whore directory, and I for one am man enough to condemn it. And as long as people keep registering and partaking in Thefacebook, people will be on the right track to become whores themselves.

Second, Thefacebook does not accomplish anything in anyone's life, and even though people know this, they spend anywhere from an hour to three hours on it each day. I guess it's kind of like cocaine.

"I love Facebook. I spend two hours on it every day, and it's so much fun. Ever since I registered, I've been addicted. You have no idea the kind of happy feelings I get when I log on to my profile and see a friend request waiting for me," says undelcared freshman Philip Heacock.

Heacock is one of many examples to why Thefacebook should be considered evil. It is turning regular college students into moronic individuals who lose the capability to give decent quotes, not to mention eating up valuable time that could be used to put cheese in dryers or walk in bike paths. Two hours is a lot of time to waste on something as useless as Thefacebook. As my friend Mahatma Gandhi once told me, "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." If you were to die tomorrow, would you really want to have spent your last hours on Thefacebook? No, you wouldn't. Thefacebook does not have any educational value, and it's sure as hell not fun enough to spend one's last hours on.

Also, how can anyone compare Thefacebook to heaven? If anything can be compared to heaven, it is hands-down the biology lectures of professors William Grimes and Richard Hallick (come on, how about bumping me up to a "D" now?).

Hopefully people will soon realize that the Thefacebook is of no real value and should be boycotted. Although I do understand that the addictions of certain students have snowballed into something uncontrollable, there are other students who have not yet become addicted and still have the willpower to delete their Thefacebook registration.

"I'm screwed. I'm failing half my classes and all I can bring myself to do is browse the Facebook," says general biology freshman Sunny Patel.

Now ask yourself, "Do I want to end up like Sunny Patel?" Yeah, I didn't think so. Don't go to Thefacebook, and if you have already have signed up for an account, please delete it. It's the best thing to do for your life. If you cannot delete your account under any circumstances, then for the love of God, please Facebook Me!

Moe Naqvi is a physiological sciences freshman. He can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.