By Phoebe McPhee

Since MTV began publishing novels that didn't relate to one of their television shows (there are, of course numerous guides to the "Real World" and other MTV programs), the company has seemed to stick to one formula: Use young writers, who can write about real people in accessible situations. The characters must have personality quirks, without having any personality. "The Alphabetical Hookup List" follows suit.

With the exception of Stephen Chbosky's "The Perks of Being a Wallflower," one of the first novels released by the publisher, the quality of MTV's output has been pretty mediocre. In fact, all the books seem like a bad blind date: They sound good when you hear about them, but once you get to know them, you realize they are all surface with nothing underneath.

"The Alphabetical Hookup List" can sound intriguing at first: Three girls with little in common are crammed into a tiny dorm room. Facing their first year of college without boyfriends, the three girls decide over a bottle of vodka and a game of Scrabble to kiss a boy whose name begins with every letter of the alphabet, in order. One girl is a cheerleader, another, a virgin, and the third is a raver. Hijinks quite obviously ensue.

It could be an entertaining, if disposable read, if the characters didn't spit pure stupidity every time they opened their mouths. One girl describes her outfit on her move-in day as, "school spirit casual." Another asks her boyfriend if "the stars have aligned," and if he's found his soul mate in someone else.

When it comes to sex, however, they are biologically frank. Here, though, the author makes the assumption that even the dumbest dialogue becomes "sassy" or "witty" or "readable" when it's about sex. Maybe that was true a few years ago, before "Sex in the City," but nothing here will make the average college girl blush.

Maybe that's the problem. The reviews of this book on Amazon.com came mostly from girls in the 12-15 range, girls who are perhaps just past puberty and who need to live vicariously through these supposedly smart, sassy college girls.

While this book is supposed to be about the sexual awakenings of three independent-minded college girls, it really comes off as three rather shallow girls playing a more complicated version of spin the bottle.