Illustration by Arnie Bermudez
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Arizona Daily Wildcat
Friday September 19, 2003
· According to modern theories of higher mathematics: If a person approached the speed of light he would shrink to a tiny size. If a person surpassed the speed of light he would start moving backward in time. The shortest distance between two points is a curve, not a line. Parallel lines eventually meet. Time is a curve. Space is, paradoxically, at the same time both infinite and bounded. There is no such thing as a straight line in the universe. The faster an object moves in space the heavier it becomes - but at the same time, the smaller it becomes.
· The parachute was invented more than a hundred years before the airplane. It was the creation of a Frenchman, Louis Lenormand, who designed it in 1783 to save people who had to jump from burning buildings. In 1797 Jacques Garnerin gave a public exhibition of parachuting, descending 3,000 feet from a balloon.
· The champagne used to christen a ship is a substitute for human blood. In bygone times the Vikings and various South Sea tribes sacrificed human beings on the prows of their ships so that the spirits of the murdered victims would guard the craft. Later wine was substituted for blood, and, in our day, champagne for wine.
· When gentlemen in medieval Japan wished to seal an agreement, they urinated together, crisscrossing their streams of urine.
· The Tasaday tribe recently discovered in the Philippine Islands has no known enemies, no weapons of war, no words in their language for hate, war, or dislike. They neither hunt nor cultivate.
· When the planet Uranus was discovered by Sir William Heerschel in 1781 it was named "Georgium Sidium" in honor of King George III of England. For many years the planet was known as the "Georgian." Not until 1850 was it christened Uranus in accordance with the tradition of naming planets for Roman gods.