Ross Hammonds

Ahem, scuff, emm, OK, well then. Let me straighten my shirt and check my lip for blood, because I believe that I was just challenged to a duel. No, not me personally, unlike some colleagues of mine, but my kind ÷ those "sports monkeys" at the Wildcat.

We'd like to thank columnist Jessica Lee for bringing to our attention in yesterday's column "Their Music is Mightier Than a Writers Pen," that we failed to realize that the band members were better physical specimens than UA athletes like Luke Walton who, apparently, couldn't, "run formations with a 35-pound drum on his shoulders."

That's right folks, according to Lee there was a study done that shows band members' heart rates are better than those of most "jocks" and comparable to basketball players. Don't ask me where, when or how this study was done, because no one seems to know.

I wonder if any one of the band members could box out the 7-foot-1, 285-pound Chris Marcus, get the rebound, then turn around and get down court to run a give-and-go to Jason Gardner through Western Kentucky's defense like the basketball team will have to do in its opening game.

Preston Greene, assistant strength and conditioning coach, said comparing any athlete, especially a football or basketball player, to a band member like Lee did is irrelevant.

"They are two different energy systems that they are using," Greene said. "The football game is very anaerobic, which is completely different than a band member carrying around a tuba for an hour. To compare them is not completely relative."

When asked who would be in better "shape", Greene didn't hesitate.

"Oh, the football player," he said. "Football players would be in better shape because you have to have all the energy systems and be athletic."

I'm not here to judge the athletic ability of the band, and really, I don't care. They do their job as the athletes do theirs; I'm just proving that the "study" Lee cited is shaky at best and that questioning and comparing the two just weakens her argument that started out criticizing the sports desk as a whole, then moved on to comparing athletes to band members.

Faithful readers, please forgive us; we seemed to forget that 58,000 people show up on game day to visit the concessions and relieve themselves at the restrooms during the first half just to make sure they have a seat for halftime, in what Lee called, "Twenty hours of intense rehearsal time," come to life in a, "Search for passion and individuality in an era of self-worth being overshadowed by superficial media images · "

RIIIIIGHTTTTTT · I guess my fellow sports writers and I are too "simple minded" to grasp that.

We must have missed that over the sound of people rushing to get out of the stadium. The band goes onto the field and most of the crowd doesn't pay attention, until the end of the halftime show, when the band plays "Bear Down." That's just the way it is. In fact, dogs catching Frisbees would be just as sufficient to most people. At least the Dobermans wouldn't have unprofessional reporters bitch about how underappreciated they are.

Lee writes, "the band creates the essential atmosphere at football games, and is the only entity that brings the crowd to their feet clapping."

Wow.

OK, explain what happens when someone scores, gets sacked, makes a catch, knocks down a pass, returns a kickoff or comes onto the field. Oh, and there's actually two more home games, Homecoming weekend (the one in two days) included.

Moving on, I don't see where Jeff Lund's quote is ripping the fabric of the band: "I'm not sure which is worse, being stuck in such a poor seat next to the alternative marching band that butchers all the songs we used to like to hear on the radio ... " It just comments on the way the songs that Lund used to love, as many will agree, have lost stringed instruments such as guitars and been remixed with woodwinds and horns by the Pride of Arizona. Nowhere does that insult or question the work ethic or skill of the band.

But a question lingers: when did we start picking on the band? Are you sure this wasn't a columnist trying to incite something that isn't there? I don't remember any personal attacks on the vision of band members or their director of marching percussion. In fact, I bet they all can see quite far.

And who wants to get rid of the band? The crowd doesn't know "Bear Down" by itself, and sure, they don't always help the right team, but you still need a band.

Former sports writer Ryan Finley wrote on Nov. 2, 2000, how the band played UCLA's unofficial team fight song in the waning minutes and inspired the Bruins football team to rally and beat the Wildcats.

Think that's bad?

At halftime of that same game was a tribute to Damon Terrell, an Arizona football player who collapsed and died at practice. What did the band play right before that? Oingo Boingo's "Dead Man's Party." Jeez, I call that one for Friday karaoke at the funeral home.

Again, nothing about work ethic, it's always been about the songs.

Thanks will be given when they are due and respect is earned, damnit.

The band does excellent community service; that is always something that should be rewarded, and you have to recognize that. So play on, band. Everyone in the spotlight has to take some heat ÷ be happy you're in it.

I know, despite how much Lee wants to see our faces marching with drums and trumpets thrown at our heads, we don't question your dedication; we just sometimes question your selection.