Where's the outrage on Mackovic's huge salary

I've always taken exception to the fact that intercollegiate basketball and football are stepping-stones to professional careers (At least baseball's got one thing right; they rely on minor leagues to groom major leaguers).

The NBA and the NFL, however, rely solely on colleges to feed their teams, and often to the academic detriment of the universities. I don't know about anybody else, but watching an illiterate "college grad" give a post-game interview in Cardinal Stadium makes me uncomfortable. [Read article]

Nov. 5, 2002. A Tuesday. Another day in the life for many UA students. One day closer to Thanksgiving break. One Tuesday closer to three whole weeks of freedom from academic responsibility.

For the UA's Muslim population, Nov. 5 held a completely different significance.

It marked the beginning of the Islamic holy month of Ramadan. During this month, Muslims fast or abstain "completely" from foods, drinks, intimate intercourse and smoking ÷ from before the break of the dawn until sunset. [Read article]

You'll never believe me, but I'll tell you anyway. A few days ago I saw Osama bin Laden conspiring with several members of al-Qaeda at Arby's. I was suspicious of them right away when we were standing in line and they all ordered salad instead of beef. I couldn't believe my eyes. I was so shocked and concerned about notifying the authorities that I almost forgot to order "Horsey" sauce with my beef burger. [Read article]

Donate your thousands to excellence - and for Pez

Well, it looks like the UA will have an extra grand per student sitting around collecting dust. Rather than having it on the shelf, here are a few suggestions about where this precious, middle-class-family's-back-breaking windfall should be spent.

Setting aside personal monkey butlers due to time constraints on training, the first order of business should be to issue every incoming freshman a copy of the fight song, a picture of Dr. Likins, a copy of "Economics for Dummies" and a bar of soap. [Read article]