Susan Bonicillo Opinions Editor

You know how in grade school everyone has a role? For instance you have the smelly kid, the smart kid, the mean kid, the weird kid who let the white pasty glue dry on his arm and would promptly eat it with great abandon. Well, as for me, I was the fat kid.

Yet, the realization of being fat never crossed my mind for a while because, as a child, you have those few blissful years when appearance means nothing to you. I went to a Catholic school, and in keeping in line with uniform regulations, I needed to get a new skirt since my jumper was getting a little too tight. Other kids at school did not fail to see how roly-poly I was getting.

The rule of the playground is not so different from the law of the jungle in that the weakest and different children must be shunned and in some cases, punished by the larger mob.

I remember science class when we were learning about the solar system and how one celestial body gets caught by the other, resulting in an orbit. Apparently, the boys remembered that one fact and would gleefully orbit around me, unwillingly caught in my gravitational pull.

They were clever little bastards, I'll give them that.

If I could do it all over again I would have stood up to my bullies, or at the very least, avoided the sticky sweets that made me such a plump and easy target.

However, as is the case with individuals who do get bullied, I didn't speak up for myself. It's difficult to stand up for yourself against an entire group of people intent on making your life a living hell. I isolated myself from other kids and retreated into my stacks of books, which proved to be my only faithful and non-judgmental companions throughout grade school. So, not only was I the fat kid but I was also the strange kid who read in the corner all by herself. The ammo that the other kids had seemed inexhaustible.

Now I'm no longer the blimp of my former days, which is good because now the teasing has stopped, I can see my feet again and my heart's not in trouble anymore.

So, with the recent disclosure of UA psychology professor Robert Bechtel about his own experience with bullying and the rage murder that followed it brought to mind my own ignominious childhood. Though I wouldn't go so far as to condone his actions, I can understand why Bechtel would end the life of one of his tormentors. There were many times when I wished to inflict serious pain upon my tormentors, just any attempt to make them feel the humiliation and pain that I felt every day. It's the dark fantasy of anyone who's been bullied, except in Bechtel's case, he actually realized this fantasy.

Though there are some who see Bechtel as an example of someone rising above his dark past, there is a sentiment among some on campus. It is a wave of anger, disgust and calls for his resignation.

However, with these requests for Bechtel to step down from his position we have to ask one question: What will that prove? Bechtel has served his time - according to the mandates of the law - but in addition he will have to carry the guilt and shame over that murder for the rest of his life. Despite his own personal burden, the campus community seems to put it on itself to want more of a punishment. It seems like some have taken it upon themselves to decide which individuals deserve to be redeemed.

In the end, though, their righteous indignation amounts to nothing. It will not undo the years of torment Bechtel endured, and it will not bring the murdered Francis Holmes Strozier back to life. All it does is give the "good" people in the opportunity to flex their moral superiority over someone like Bechtel.

In a country that is so predominately Christian, one would expect a more tolerant attitude given the philosophy behind the religion. In light of the results from the elections in which the country advocated a return to the Christian principles and values that guided the foundation of this country, we seem to neglect a fundamental Christian teaching, that of forgiveness and to reserve judgment for God alone.

Bechtel cannot change what he did but he can try to make up for his past. So far, Bechtel has used his life to help others. While in asylum, he started a school to help other patients. He has served on the UA faculty since 1976, and has started work on both a documentary and book to outline the effects of bullying and ways to stop what happened in Swathmore College in 1955.

Susan Bonicillo is a junior majoring in English. She can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.