I despise dentists. And I'm sure I'm not alone with this attitude. Whenever I go in to get a cleaning, there seems to be the same disapproving look of shame on the "doctor's" face. "You haven't been flossing, have you?"

That's why it's good that "The Secret Lives of Dentists" isn't about the practice of dentistry. And I'll have to question putting the word in the title, since 90 percent of America has already decided they won't see this one.

"Dentists" is more about love and marriage, and how they are never one and the same.

Dana and David Hurst are married dentists who seem to have it all: a successful practice, three beautiful children, a great home and a cabin in the country. But success and material things don't seem to be a cure all for their problems, and David (Campbell Scott) and Dana (Hope Davis) are growing apart.

When David spots his wife with another man in what seems to be a passionate kiss, he walks away and begins his journey of passively dealing with the affair of his wife.

Hallucinations take over his work and home life, as David begins to dwell on every visit Dana takes to the store and every time she's late for dinner.

Instead of dealing with this like a sane human being and following his wife and then hitting her lover over the head with a snow globe ÷ like the husband in last year's "Unfaithful" did ÷ Hurst tries to ignore what he hopes is only a fling and save his marriage.

His fear of life without marriage and his pent up rage starts to make him delusional. A former disgruntled patient, played hilariously by comedian Denis Leary, urges David to take action as a sidekick in his hallucinations.

But Hurst tries to avoid all contact with his wife and family, and the hallucinations get worse. The climax, which doesn't sound terribly exciting, comes when the family gets the flu.

But it shouldn't really sound exciting, because it isn't that exciting, and the movie isn't that exciting.

There's no huge action in the picture, no goal that Hurst has to reach. The movie is mostly about the character of Hurst, and how he doesn't want to have to accept that his marriage is falling apart.

But Scott ("Rodger Dodger") and Davis ("About Schmidt") do brilliant jobs creating characters that you can empathize with. I wanted to know what happened to the family. I wanted David to be mistaken about his wife's affair.

The movie gets its comic relief from Leary, but it's mostly a character drama about a man being emotionally crushed and trying to survive.

But, then again, who cares if a dentist gets emotionally crushed? Bastards ·